Today snuck up on me like a ton of bricks. I knew it was coming but yesterday it became real. Maddie should be 9 months old today. Also in this same week Maddie's is Maddie's angelversary and James and I's 2nd wedding anniversary. So I have been an emotional wreck. The 14th and the 17th of every month kill me..they just hurt so bad.
This summer I was going to start planning Maddi'es 1st birthday. Well that was the plan at least until my whole world changed. Now, I sit here and think how do I plan her 1st birthday? What do we do? We can't celebrate without her. Some of the ladies at my support groups said they did balloon releases and we could do something like that but it's just not the same without her.
I so desperately want to read about what she should be doing but why? So I can hurt more? I just cant do it. I know it will make me miss her so much more (if that's even possible).
So, today is "Maddie Day". I am trying very hard to put a smile on my face but in all honesty its going to be hard.
Maddie we miss you so much!
35 comments:
Thinking of you and James today. I am praying for a sweet Maddie Day today for you! (hugs)
Love you so much honey!! You are the best mother Maddie could have ever asked for! "For better or worse" me and you forever!
Love,
James
Thinking of you today .. Happy Anniversary to you and James.. if you try to think of anything just think of how beautiful an angel Maddie is .. and how she is sitting on a cloud way up high watching out over her parents and everyone else.. praying for you each and everyday.. BIG HUGS out to you both
Thinking of you today. I can only imagine how hard these milestones are for you. My daughter will be 10 months on Saturday...everytime I read your blog I think to myself what if this were Briella. I just couldn't do it. I praise you and James for your strength. I pray that God will make things easier for you as time goes by. I know he is taking wonderful care of your precious little angel up there. I have a sister that passed away when she was 8. I hope she is up there taking care of Maddie for you too! As for Maddie's first birthday, a special thing we do for my sister's birthday every year, we go to the cemetery and release butterfly's. You can purchase them over the internet. They will send them to you frozen then as they get warm, they will wake up and you can release them. I think this would be something special to do for Maddie's first birthday. We also, let balloons go with a tag on them with our address in case someone finds it, they can send it back and we can see how far it went. We even still get her a cake every year for her Birthday. She may not of been my daughter, but she was my sister and I still miss her like crazy. It does get easier with time. And don't worry about forgetting things, you will never forget Maddie! She's tucked in your heart forever and you will see her again one day. Until then, I pray that God comforts you and fills the remainder of your lives here on earth with happiness.
Thinking of you and James today and this week! I was thinking exactly what another poster said, what about a butterfly release? Or a Maddiebug release? If that's possible... I pray for you always!
Thinking of you today. I can only imagine how hard these milestones are for you. I have a little girl who will be 10 months this Saturday. Everytime I read your blog I can't help but think what if that were her. I praise you and James for your strength. I don't think I could do it. As for Maddie's first birthday, just an idea for you. I have a sister that passed away when she was 8. Every year for her birthday we go to the cemetery and release butterflies. You can purchase them online and they will send them to you frozen. As they get warm, they wake up and then you can release them. I just thought this would be an idea to share with you for something special for Maddie's birthday. We also release balloons and we always put a card on them with our address so that if someone happens to find it they can send it back to us and we can see how far it went. We still even get a cake every year for her. I know she was my sister and not my daughter, but I still know how hard it is. I have seen the toll it has taken on my parents also. It does get a little easier with time. Don't worry about forgetting Maddie. You will never forget her. She is sealed in your heart forever! And you will see her again one day. I know God is up there taking care of that beautiful angel for you and I hope her and my little sister are angel friends too! I pray for you and James that God will comfort you and help you heal and bless you with happiness for the rest of your lives here on Earth.
I'm so sorry sweetie! You guys are in my prayers.
I am thinking of you and your husband and today. I feel as though I know you because I read your blog everyday, and at night I pray for you and your family. Maddie was so beautiful! I look at my baby boy (he'll be 2 months Aug. 4th) and I am so thankful for him and my 3 yr old daughter. I think that reading your blog has made me appreciate my Children more and has really made me a better mother.
I also purchased a BabeSafe cover for his mattress and if it weren't for your blog I would have never known about that.
I hope you have a sweet and peaceful Maddie Day. I truly believe she is with you always.
PS I think releasing butterflies for her birthday is a BEAUTIFUL Idea!
Always praying for you
Megan from SC
Thinking of you today. And my little girl is wearing a bow for Maddie today =]
Thinking of you. I am sure Maddie and Leila are playing together. We are sending Maddie up a special balloon on Saturday when we do Leila's balloon release.
I think a balloon release is a great idea for Maddie's first birthday. We are doing Leila's big release for her 6 month since my husband will be deployed on the 1 year mark.
Always remember you have so many people wishing good things for you.
God Bless
V
Kellie-
I read your blog everyday. I have a 3 1/2 month old baby girl. I was about 7 1/2 months pregnant when Maddie got her wings. I saw the support on Facebook for the "Bow" day for Maddie and started reading your blog. I cry everytime. I go home and I just hug lil' AJ. I read your blogs and they remind me of me and AJ. She loves for me to hold her, she laughs at me all the time. I just love her so much! I am so sorry that you are going through this! I just want to give you a hug! I have family that lives in the Houston area too! I know the time will be right when Maddie will have a brother or sister. I had complications with birth control too. We were blessed with our lil' AJ and we are so happy. She wears a bow all the time. Some people tend to make negative comments about the bows that I put on her head but my response to them is that the bow on her head big or small (usually big though) is a reminder to me that she is a gift from God and that I will always have bows for her. :)
I think maybe you should do a lady bug release for Maddie's birthday. I'm not sure if you could find any that time of year, but it might be worth searching the internet for, they do butterfly releases for all sorts of occasions but I couldn't think of any way to better remember your sweet girl than the ladybugs that so often reminded you that she was near :-) Bless you momma. This can't be easy. I think Maddie would want you to celebrate that beautiful day though. The day she came into your life and changed your world forever, it should be a celebration for sure!
Kellie,
I am so sorry. I wish that we could go back in time and change so many things, but we can't. All we can do is take one more step forward and make sure that we are ready to see our babies again when Jesus comes back to take us home. Praying for you and I hope you and James have a wonderful Anniversary and many many more years together.
I'm sorry you're hurting so much, I understand and I'll pray foe your comfort.
This woman lost all 3 of her daughters in one car accident. They still celebrate all their birthdays...
read about her story here..
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43738543/ns/today-today_people/
Thinking of you guys today.You are in my prayers.
Kellie you are in my prayers today. Maddie day is a beautiful sunshiny day in my neighborhood today.
I am so sorry you have such a tough week. I can't imagine the pain you are going through. I don't know what to tell you about Maddie's birthday. It is not fair or right that she won't be with you, physically, on that day. But she will be with you. You guys have a bond that extends beyond this earth and its limitations. I know you will be together, in spirit, that day.
Good luck the rest of the week. Hugs to you guys.
I should have said that day and every day, but especially that day.
You could also release butterflies :o)
My thoughts are with you and James (as always), but with extra love sent this week as you face these milestones. I know Maddie will be nearer to you than ever so she can comfort her mommy who loves her so much.
I hope you and James have something fun planned for your anniversary. You two deserve a special day. :)
Hugs from FL
My thoughts are with you and James (as always), but with extra love sent this week as you face these milestones. I know Maddie will be nearer to you than ever so she can comfort her mommy who loves her so much.
I hope you and James have something fun planned for your anniversary. You two deserve a special day. :)
Hugs from FL
Hugs! I think of you often and am soo appreciative of all the info you gave me on sids. I never had any idea. Maddie's story is impacting more people than you know. Hang in there.
Would it be helpful to celebrate her birthday by remembering it was your 1st Mother's/Father's day? Perhaps you could have a special cake and make a toast to her and then release a balloon with a message to Maddie on it.
thinking of you both today sweetie
shel xx
Maybe on Maddie's 1st birthday you could a benefit or auction of some sort to raise money for SIDS awareness. I know you've done them in the past but this way it would honor Maddie at the same time. Just a thought :)
my heart breaks for you today even more then before....im so sorry you have to go throught this mess...just remember this: it may be one more day since you have seen her, but that only means you are one day closer to seeing her again! love n hugs...happy maddie day sweety:)
I heard this song the other day "If I die young" by The Band Perry. And I thought of you and your Maddie. It's kind of a pretty song and the lyrics "Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother. She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors" struck a chord with me as my first thought was of your precious Maddie...
Thinking of you today and always!
Could you remind of of your husbands blog. I seem to have lost it and like to follow him also!
I am so sorry. I know how your heart aches and I know how much you want her here. So many nights I would fall on my knees before God praying for my little girl back. THese days are so hard, but GOD WILL PULL YOU THROUGH. when you have no strength, He is your strength. He is close to the crushed in Spirit!
I just wanted to wish the two of you a Happy Anniversary. You've both been through alot and continue to go through alot with grieving for your precious Maddie. I wish you the best in the anniversaries to come. :)
Praying for you guys today and always! I can't imagine what you are going through but God has made you stronger each and everyday and your Maddie bug is right there with you.
My little girl released a balloon for Maddie on her 2nd birthday a few weeks ago. We will do the same on Maddie's 1st. I'll bet there will be a LOT of balloons going up to heaven that day. =)
:( Sorry for all the comments, I am catching up on blogs, not blog stalking :)
My friend lost her 4 year old son in March, it was a tragic accident and his birthday was the beginning of July they celebrated it - She made a cake, it was a superman because that was his favorite and then she had balloons and everyone put a little note in the balloon to send off to her little angel in heaven - It was really great and I it helped her also in her grieving process :)
((HUGS)) and prayers!
Your angel is so beautiful. Praying for you guys!
Post a Comment