Sunday, October 30, 2011

Sick

I just wanted to post a quick update....

I got sick on Friday afternoon. I started throwing up around 6:00pm and by midnight I had enough. I couldn't keep anything down..no water, or crackers. So at midnight I called my OB. She said to go to the ER and get some fluids.

12:30 am on Saturday morning James took me to the ER. We were there for 2.5 hours. I got 2 bags of IV fluids and 2 doses of Zofran. It made my throwing up stop but I didn't feel any better. My stomach was cramping and I felt so bad. The ER doctor said I had a stomach bug. They wouldn't listen to gummy's heart beat that just kept telling me I wasn't far enough along which made me mad!

We finally got home at 3:00am and I didn't sleep that whole night. Yesterday I laid in bed all day. I thought I was feeling better today. I got up and got dressed. James and I even ran to Target, but I was wrong I still feel pretty crummy.

Please pray for gummy and I a speedy and safe recovery.

Hopefully I can update again tomorrow.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Shutterfly

Let me just say....I love Shutterfly! The quality of their cards are amazing!! They are thick and just look and feel "classy".

Last year we used Shutterfly for our New Years cards.


Aren't they sweet? I am so glad I sent this card out. I am so glad I have this memory.

I love how Shutterfly has cards with lots of photo spots because we all know I love pictures!

They have some REALLY cute Christmas cards this year. Here are some of my favs:

These cards are printed on photo paper!!! You know I like that!


I was thinking about getting a calender like this with all of Maddie's pictures on it to hang on our fridge.

Can you tell I LOVE Shutterfly?

I am going to order our Christmas cards from Shutterfly and I'm so excited! When they are done I will post them!! So, stay tuned....and go check out Shutterfly while you wait!

AAP Updates

Here is the link

American Academy of Pediatrics Updates as of October 21st

October 21, 2011 (Boston, Massachusetts) — The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has expanded its recommendations to ensure a safe sleeping environment for infants and to further reduce the risk for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) in a new policy statement.

The recommendations were announced here at the AAP 2011 National Conference and Exhibition by pediatrician and SIDS researcher Rachel Moon, MD, from the Children's National Medical Center, Washington, DC, who led the task force that updated the policy statement.

Since 1992, when the AAP recommended that all babies be placed on their backs to sleep, deaths from SIDS have declined dramatically; however, sleep-related deaths from other causes, including suffocation, entrapment, and asphyxia, have increased, Dr. Moon said.

She told Medscape Medical News that the new policy statement has 3 important changes.


First and foremost is the recognition that breastfeeding protects against SIDS.

"In 2005, there was a lot of evidence that breastfeeding was great for preventing infant mortality in general, but not SIDS specifically. But since 2005, there has been a lot of research that has shown that breastfeeding is protective against SIDS, and we wanted to emphasize that and make that change," Dr. Moon said.

The second change is an emphasis on immunization.

"There's been a lot of press out there about how immunizations may cause SIDS. Again, there's been research to show that this is absolutely not the case. In fact, if you are immunized, your risk of SIDS drops by 50%. We wanted to make that clear; we wanted to put that out there," she said.

The third big change, Dr. Moon said, is the recommendation against using bumper pads in cribs to reduce accidental smothering.

"We have expanded the recommendations in the policy statement to focus not only on SIDS, but on other deaths that can occur. That is why we are recommending against the cushions that go along the sides of the crib," she said. "Children can be suffocated by them."

Other key recommendations are:

  • Always use a firm sleep surface. Car seats and other sitting devices are not recommended for routine sleep.
  • The baby should sleep in the same room as the parents, but not in the same bed (room sharing without bed sharing).
  • Keep soft objects or loose bedding out of the crib.
  • Wedges and positioners should not be used.
  • Offer a pacifier at nap time and bedtime.
  • Avoid covering the infant's head or overheating.
  • Do not use home monitors or commercial devices marketed to reduce the risk for SIDS.
  • Supervised, awake tummy time is recommended daily to facilitate development and minimize the occurrence of positional plagiocephaly (flat heads).

Eve R. Colson, MD, from the Yale University School of Medicine, New Haven, Connecticut, told Medscape Medical News that she is very happy to see this focus on preventing accidental deaths.

"As a director of our nursery and somebody who is really into medical education of families and of staff, I am glad to see this because we have seen lots of accidental deaths," Dr. Colson, who was not a member of the policy statement task force, said.

"We, at Yale, have been so upset by the increased number of deaths in beds happening in New Haven and surrounding areas. In my opinion, the adult bed is not a safe place and I'm glad they've come out with this recommendation."

Dr. Colson said she understands "totally" that parents like to be close to their babies, and she encourages this. She said she takes a very sensitive approach when explaining to parents why the adult bed is not safe for babies.

"We get SIDS deaths in our emergency room, but we also get babies who have suffocated because somebody rolled on them or they have ended up underneath a pillow or got trapped between the mattress and the wall. This is what we have seen and we want to prevent that."

Dr. Moon and Dr. Colson have disclosed no relevant financial relationships.

American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) 2011 National Conference and Exhibition. Presented October 17, 2011.


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Reality

Reality

It hit me the other night.

We are going to have another baby. That means pretty soon I am going to have to go through Maddie's stuff and put it away.

I am not ready for this.

It hurts!

You remember those movies where a family looses a child and 15 years later there room is exactly the same? I used to think that is so dumb.. why cant they just move on? Well, now I GET IT! I totally get it. I don't want to move anything in Maddie's room. I want it to be her room forever. But, the reality is she is not coming back.

I need to let go, but I dont want to!

Another baby should get to enjoy her room. But, it hurts. I don't want to move her stuff. I dont want to put it away. That just mean she is REALLY gone.

I was talking to Catherine about this and she told me something that is so true. She said "I'm afraid it's going to get worse before it gets better".

Boy is she ever right.

We have a lot of big things coming up:
-The holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day
- Her angelversary (yes its in a little over 3 months)
-Finding out if gummy is a boy or a girl
-Putting all Maddie's stuff away
-Re- painting/organizing gummy's room

How am I going to make it. These pregnancy hormones are crazy!

I guess just one foot in front of the other.

I have been having crazy vivid dreams...and I never do. Just another fun pregnancy symptom. In this dream we found out gummy is a girl. I was helping James tape off Maddie's room to re-paint and I couldn't stop crying. James tried to console me but he couldn't. I was so upset..not that I was having a girl but the reality that Maddie is really gone.

Don't get me wrong I am SO excited to be pregnant! I am thrilled God sent us another miracle, but I'm having a hard time. I guess its only natural.

So I am going to walk one foot in front of the other.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

God gave me you

Have you heard Blake Shelton's song, "God Gave me you?". I know its about falling in love and he's singing it to his wife..but this song has a totally different meaning to me.

I feel like this song is written for me and Gummy. God sent me gummy to help reinforce my broken heart..."Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs...God gave me you for the days of doubt...And for when I think I lost my way...There are no words here left to say, it’s true...God gave me you...Gave me you"

Here is the lyrics. It wont let me embed the video but I'll link it. Go listen the song is beautiful!

I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me
And watch as the storm blows through
And I need you

Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you
Gave me you

There’s more here than what we’re seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr
And I’ll be the flattered fool
And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you, gave me you.
He gave me you.



God Gave me you By Blake Shelton (The link to the song)

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Gender Maker

So...... I took a gender maker test just for fun!!!!

Here are my results:
It says....GIRL!

I know...I know..It's just for fun!!!

With Maddie I took the intelligender test and we could never figure out if it was boy or girl. So, I decided to try this test this time. It seems much easier to read. Just thought I would post these results... :)

I was also asked if I thought Maddie was a girl.. The answer is .....YES. I knew from the beginning she was a girl. If she was a boy I was going to be in total disbelief. But, I was right.. So we will see with gummy if I'm right?!?

Friday, October 21, 2011

Gummy :)

James and I saw gummy yesterday. "She" is doing GREAT! I was so amazed to see the baby moving around and everything. It really made my heart smile!

I think it's finally hit me.. I'm PREGNANT!!

Gummy's heart rate was 170 beautiful beats per minute!

Here "she" is.......


Thursday, October 20, 2011

Rainbow

I never liked the term "Rainbow baby" until I read this quote...
"Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope!
I love this! It explains exactly how I feel.
Today James and I get to see gummy again and we are so excited! I hope this time we get to see her move!!!

Ok Ok I confess. I call this baby a her. I don't know if its mothers instinct or just because I have never been pregnant with a boy...but MAYBE it's a sign! ;)



Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Thanks!!

Thanks for all of our support and encouraging words. James and I really wanted to share the news now so we can blog about our 2nd miracle!

I have been asked many of the same questions so I am going to try and answer them....

I am 8.5 weeks along , so I am due on May 26th! We found out on September 13th the day before Maddie's 11 month birthday. So we have been holding this secret for over a month. Let me just say it's been VERY hard to do!!! James and I wanted to see the baby and hear its heart beat first before we "spilled the beans". We also wanted Maddie's birthday celebration to be all about her. It was HER day!!!

When we first found out I was pregnant I had my BETA numbers (HCG) check and they were out the roof. My doctor really thought there could be two babies. James and I were thrilled for 1 baby but 2 babies would be AMAZING! After my first ultra sound we saw that we have 1 VERY strong gummy bear.

This pregnant is going great. My "all day sickness" started at about 6 weeks and it still going in full force. I look at it as a good sign tho. It tells me the baby is doing just fine! I am trying to eat small snack through out the day to keep me feeling good. Zofran is also my best friend! Some day it does not work so well.

I am planning on doing weekly belly pictures for you all to see.

Please keep us in your prayers for a safe pregnancy. If you don't remember I am high risk. I had a blood clot a few year ago so I am on Lovenox (an injectable blood thinner). Everything looks great so far!!!! Thanks again for all your support!

Monday, October 17, 2011

God does not send replacements.......only reinforcements!


(I wish I didn't have to say this but...if you do not have anything nice to say then please DO NOT say anything at all.. Thanks!!!!!)

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Maddie's Birthday in pictures..

My mom and I took off of work. We both knew it was going to be a hard day. Looking back now it was the best decision to make!

We started the day off with a yummy bagel from Panera. Then we went to take Maddie her special birthday cake, flowers and balloons to her "spot".

It was very hot day and SO very sunny. We placed all her goodies, wiped our tears and I took some photos. It hasn't rained much since Maddie left us. Last weekend it poured and her headstone was all dirty . I am not sure yet how to keep it clean and pretty. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know. I wiped it off as good as I could but its still very dirty. We stood there for a while crying and wishing we didn't have to be there. Mom and I told Maddie we loved her and wished her a happy birthday and we left. I still hate leaving the cemetery. I feel like I'm leaving her there.


Mom and I went to pick up 50 balloons for our birthday girl. I am sure Maddie was laughing at us as we were tying to squeeze all these balloons in 1 car! Needless to day the car was FULL!!!

Later that night family and friends came over to celebrate Maddie's life. I must say there was a lot of tears.


We walked to the park. James told everyone thank you for all their support then through many many many tears we sang our sweet Maddie Happy Birthday and we let her balloons go.





Then we released her lady bugs...



It was a hard day. A day that we should not of had without her, but we did the best we could. We smiled because she chose us to be her parents. We spend the best 4 months of our life with her. Maddie will always be a part of our family!!!

Thank you for all your kinda words, and birthday wishes for our Princess. You made that day brighter.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Happy Birthday Maddie

Happy 1st Birthday Princess!

One year ago today my life changed forever. I gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl.

Maddie, you were only here with us for such a short time, but you have made the whole world smile!


You are my everything and will ALWAYS be a part of our family!

Thanks for showing me how to be a great mom!

I love you and miss you so so much!!!
Happy Birthday Princess!



I was sent this poem and of course it made me cry..but then it made me smile.


It's my first birthday in heaven,
what a joy to partake.
My presents are flowers and rainbows
and angel food cake.

My crib is decorated with roses
and glitter.
And the stars that shine upon me
make everything shimmer.

The other angels are dancing and
singing me songs.
Soon Jesus will be joining me,
It won't be long.

We'll all gather and pray
for my loved ones on earth,
Who love me so much,
from the day of my birth.

You see, Birthdays in Heaven
are full of happiness and cheer.
We celebrate with our loved ones,
who proceeded us here.

Yes, Birthdays in Heaven
are wonderful and gay.
One day we will celebrate together,
for that moment, Mommy and Daddy, I pray

In honor of Maddie and her first birthday in heaven we are asking everyone to wear pink today and to put a bow in your daughter’s hair. I know Maddie will be able to see the all the pink balloons and shirts from up in heaven. Thanks!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Better

I am feeling better now. Thanks for all your support.

It's going to be a hard week. I am going to have to realize it that it's not going to be fun. This birthday is not like any other. I am just going to make the best of it. I need to smile for Maddie.


This picture is on our fridge. Really we have a million pictures of Maddie on our fridge. But, I really love this one. I took it when we went to Galveston for my mother-in-law's birthday. I wrote my message to Maddiegirl BIG so she could read it from heaven. I know she can read because she is such a smart 4 month old! :)


Which reminds me....I will always think of Maddie as a 4 month old. I am sure she has grown up to be a year old in heaven now but she will always be my little 4 month old Princess.

We love and miss you so much Maddiebug!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Monday Menu

Monday Menu Week 2

Monday- Grilled (baked) chicken on top of salad. Hello Easy..but James and I love it!

Tuesday- Veggie Chicken Pitas

Wednesday-Bacon wrapped chicken breasts from HEB with brown rice and broccoli.

Thursday- Dinner at James parents house :)

Friday- Maddi'es birthday dinner (I'm sure we will go out)

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Strong

I have been told by so many people that I am so strong.

Well guess what?

I don't want to be strong any more.

I just want to cry.

I miss Maddie.

This isn't fair!

I shouldn't be planning a balloon release. I should be picking out her outfit and ordering her smash cake.

This sucks.

I am tired of being strong.

I just want my baby back. :(

Friday, October 7, 2011

Maddie's birthday

Maddie's birthday is a week from today. :(

I am already so sad just thinking about it.

We are going to need lots of prayers to get through this day!

We decided on doing a balloon release with family and close friends. If you would like to send Maddie a balloon that day (10/14) I am sure she would love it!

Thank so much for your support during this very difficult time!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Soy

I had many questions about Soy as natural Clomid. I am going to try and explain them as best as I can. Remember I am not a doctor ;)

First of all Clomid is used to induce ovulation (egg production) in women who do not produce ova (eggs) but wish to become pregnant (infertility). Clomid is in a class of medications called ovulatory stimulants. It works similarly to estrogen, a female hormone that causes eggs to develop in the ovaries and be released.

Soy isoflavones is the natural version of Clomid.

You can buy soy isoflavones in Wal-Mart (Spring Valley brand- 40 mg), or in a health food store. I would start off taking 100 mg on cycle day 3-7 or 5-9( I was always told to do it on 5-7) . It supposed to work just like Clomid.

While soy does help to bring on an earlier and stronger ovulation for many women, it does not always work--some women do not ovulate on it.

Does this make any sense? Soy did give me side effect (the same as Clomid). Please use at you own risk.

I found this article about it here :
"Soy Isoflavones" is a natural plant derived phytoestrogen (phyto means plant), which is an anti-estrogen, just like Clomid. Both are known as SERMs (Selective Estrogen Receptor Modulators). It works by fooling your brain into thinking its estrogen levels are low. This causes your body to reslease more FSH & LH which helps stimulate follicle production (same as Clomid). You take Soy Isoflavones, like Clomid, on CD 1-5 or 2-6, or 3-7 or 5-9. It is not thought to cause infertility if it is only taken for 5 days a month. There is not much published information available on it regarding TTC, because it is "natural", not patented by the pharmaceutical companies, and not FDA approved. Most doctors will also not recommend it for this reason.

Recently, many women on FertilityFriend.com have been taking 150-160mg a day for 5 days at the beginning of the menstrual cycle (on days previously mentioned). Side effects reported are similar to Clomid. These vary from increased number of headaches to hot flashes. It has been suggested that taking the dosage before bedtime lessens the side effects.

I was doing some research on FertilityFriend.com to uncover just how many girls have recently conceived while on Soy Isoflavones and what days they took the supplement. I found a girl who took it on CD 1-5, 200mg Soy Isoflavones, and she got a strong BFP at 15dpo that cycle. Her chart can be viewed here. Her HCG levels at 15dpo were 443 and at 18dpo HCG 1,347. Impressive. I found a survey on FF that was interesting as well:

How many cycles of Soy did it take you to get a BFP?

What was interesting is that 75% of the women who tried Soy Isoflavones got a BFP in their FIRST cycle trying. I checked the survey more recently and the number has jumped to 77% since I took the screenshot.

While Soy Isoflavones can help bring on an earlier or stronger Ovulation for these women, I must note that in some women it did not help at all. Just like Clomid doesn't always work for everyone. Right now there are a lot more women trying Soy Isoflavones so I will continue to monitor their progress and report back any news I find.

You can buy a bottle of Soy Isoflavones at any health food store or even Wal-mart. At Wal-mart, it costs under $7 USD for one bottle. Pretty affordable, huh?

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Your questions answered part 4

Do you or James come from a large family?
I have 1 brother and James has 1 sister. So I guess they are pretty small.

Are you close to your families?
Yes, we are close to both of our families. They were there for us when everything happened. It was so nice to have that support! My mom teaches at my school so I see her ever day! James works for my dad so he sees him just about every day to! Our families live close to us so we get together often. It's so nice. I wouldn't have it any other way!!!

What kind of camera do you own and what is your favorite lens?
Canon Rebel Xsi. It was my first "fancy" camera. I wanted to buy a new body but I opted for a better lens instead! My favorite lens is my 24-70 mm I use it for everything.. It was a big investment but worth it!

Is Maddie's room the same as it was? Do you go in it everyday?
It's exactly the same dirty clothes and all. No, I dont go in it every day. It still makes me so sad to go in there :(

When do you think you will try for another baby?
Only time will tell



I wonder if you have seen this new show on TLC "Long Island Medium" Plays on Sundays @ 9pm central time.
I DVRed this because so many people told me to watch! I don't normally believe in that kind of stuff but WOW I was blown away. It really seems like that lady does speak to the dead. I was crying.

If you have the opportunity,would you talk to her to know if she could give you a message from Maddie ?
You know I thought about this. At first I said NO way...but yes, I think I would go see her. I just want to know Maddie is ok.

I was just wondering if you have spoken to the babysitter since? I also wonder if you have any blame towards her?
No I have not talked to her. At first I'd say I blamed her because we had no clue what happened. I think I have let that go now.

Hi Kelli! I remember you mentioning that you took blood thinner shots during your pregnancy, but I don't remember why..
I had a blood clot a few years back from birth control. So, I was put on blood thinners due to the fact that I could clot again. There is no proof that I would but that is not a risk I would want to take.


What is James' and your favorite TV shows?
I'm a sucker for reality TV. My favorite show is Big Brother!
James mostly just watches sports! ;)

If you were going to be forced to live on a deserted island for 3 months, what 3 items would you take?
Something of Maddies, James, and my cell phone :)

What flavor was your wedding cake?
Bavarian cream cheese was 2 layers and 1 layer was fresh strawberries. Our wedding cake was sooo yummy!!

If you weren't a teacher, what profession would you choose?
A wedding planner!!! I would love this job!!!

What are the 5 biggest steps you will take when you have another child to prevent Sids?
You can't "prevent" SIDS. If it's going to happen it will. You can take precautions against it.
1. No bumpers
2. Add a fan to the babies sleeping arrangements
3. Make sure the baby is sleeping on their back
4. Snuza
5. Angel Care Monitor

When will you start trying again?
Soon

Will you blog your next pregnancy?
For sure!!!!

Don't know if this one has already been asked but do you do anything to stay fit?? You always look beautiful!!
Ha..Did James write this? :)
I have worked out like 5 times since I got married. So, I have no secret. I am tall I just carry my weight well.

I have a camera lense question! What lense do you use for shooting portraits?
24-70 mm Like I said I love it! Its so versatile!


Have you felt that blogging has helped a lot with you coping with the loss of your precious baby girl and in what ways?
Yes, very much so. It helps A LOT! In the beginning I couldn't talk to anyone all I could do is cry. It's so nice to read the positive healing comments from my readers. Its really encouraging.


My question is, What is your advice to first-time expectant mothers?
Educate yourself about SIDS before you have to! I had NO clue what SIDS was. I thought it was something that happened a long time ago and it was history. Boy was I ever wrong!

Also, are you a sports fan? If so, what are your favorite teams?
Sad to say but no. James is a hard core Texans fan tho!

Do you carry anything around with you that reminds you of Maddy?
Everyday I wear a necklace with Maddie's name on it and my Maddie ring.

When you have another child will you tell them of Maddy?
Of course! Maddie is very much still a part of our family and always will be!!

When do you talk to Maddy and how often do you do so?
All the time!!! I talk to her everywhere. I am sure people think I am crazy, but Oh well!!!!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Girlfriends Gift Market!

(Click to make the flyer bigger)
This is the craft show I will be at on Saturday.Come join me at the Good Shepherd Church in Fairfeild (Cypress, TX) from 9am-4pm. I will be selling bows, blocks and flip flops!!!! Kuddle Bug and Maddie's Mom Made That will be sharing a booth! I can't wait to meet you!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Menu Monday

I'm starting something new.

As some of you know I am pretty organized. I always have a weekly menu, so I decided to post it for y'all to see.

Monday: Chicken Alfredo
Tuesday: Macho Nachos ( never tried these but they sound YUMMMMY)
Wednesday: Tastes like Lasagna Soup
Thursday: Grilled Chicken, salad and bakes sweet potatoes
Friday: Dinner out! Brenda and I are going to be setting up for the craft show!!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Your questions answered part 3

Are you going to do anything special for Maddie on Halloween??
No probably not. Last Halloween we sat outside with her for a few minutes and passed out candy. I am so glad we got to experience that!

What inspired you to become a teacher?

My mother and my grandmother. My mom teaches at my school. My grandmother was a teacher and principal. They are/were both amazing teachers. I hope one day I can be as good as them.

When I was in elementary school I was"the slow kid". I remember being made fun of because I didn't know how to read or even spell. I just remember my teachers believing in me. I want to give that feeling to my students. When people leave rude comments on here telling me I don't know how to spell or have any grammar..believe me I know!!! I just do the best I can!

What are some of your favorite things...
Places to eat? Mexican!!! There is an awesome Mexican place right down the street from our house! ( if you have never had Mexican food in Texas then you have NO idea what REAL Mexican food is ;)
Favorite comfort food? Mexican ..ha.. Chips and Cheese
Favorite candy bar? Snickers
Favorite chips? Hum... Sour Cream and Onion
Your drink of choice? Dr. Pepper

I am a VERY novice photographer, so my question is do you have any tips for beginners? Thanks and love the blog!!!
Yes, the easiest way to make your pictures look better is to turn off the flash!!! Seriously just try it. I NEVER use flash. Open the windows or go outside. It will make a world of difference.

Did you ever have that seminar for beginners in photography? I know you were going to meet with like 30 girls that were interested...I'm interested! If yes, how did it go? Or if not, why not?
Nope never did it. I was told I wasn't a good enough photographer to do that! I should of told that person to SHOVE IT! I dunno why I didnt do it. Maybe one day.

What do you and James most argue about?
Ha...We NEVER argue... lol... Mostly about his car :) He wants to spend money on it and I say no. Boys and their toys!

If in the future, you have another little girl, what will you name her?
I dont know. I love the name Brooklyn and Zoey.

What's the secret to being patient with a classroom full of kiddos?
Lots of caffeine ;) Just kidding. Like I said before I just keep telling myself their are only 5 and they don't know any better. Believe me some days I almost lose it!

Did have to use fertility to get pregnant with Maddie? If so, do u think it will be needed again?
Yes and no. I took soy to get pregnant with Maddie with is natural Clomid.
I don't really know if I'll need it again. ...Hopefully not!

Do you still avoid Maddie's room or do you go in there now to feel closer to her?
I go in there when I am sad or I just need to smell her. It's still so hard to go in there. So many memories were made in that room. Its very bittersweet.

If you had a future little girl, would you still use Maddie's room decor?
No, If we have another girl we want her to have a fresh start. That is Maddie's stuff.

Stay tuned there are more questions to be answered!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Your questions answered part 2

When you have a new baby and its a girl.will you use Maddies old stuff? Her room? Clothes? Bedding ect
This is a tough question and I'm not sure I will have the answer until we are "there". I have gone back and forth with what to do. I think we will use her furniture and crib but buy a new mattress and wrap it of course! I know other parents that lost their baby at home and would never re use it but our story is different. I think we may use the clothes she never wore, but not the ones she did. I guess we will just put those away. As far as her car seat...she was in that the most I bet we will get another one. Other little things such as her bouncy chair... She was always in it so we will get a new one. Her jumper she hated it so we may use it. But, I don't know everything I said could change. There is no right or wrong answers with this whole process. So, I just don't know.


I know it's fresh, but have you had any hidden thoughts about when you might try for another baby?
I don't think its any secret that I want to be a mom to a baby that is on Earth. As for trying again only time will tell.

Have you been in contact with the babysitter at all? (has she tried to reach out to you, etc?)
No, we have not been contacted by her. I guess that is another part of the reason I have not talked to her. I know she has my phone number.

What would Maddie's name have been if she'd been a boy? (and will you use the boy's name for future children?)
We had picked out Blake for a boys name. I KNEW it was a girl so I James and I were not really sold on Blake. Honestly if it was a boy I would of been shocked!


Have you decided yet how you'll celebrate 1 year?
Yes, we are just going to have family over and release balloons. I dont want to do a party just something small and nice. Its going to be such a hard hard day. I'm already getting sad.

Kelly, I pray this question is not inappropriate. I love reading your blog. My question is, Has losing your sweet baby brought you and James 'closer' to God and strengthened your faith?
I have actually never been asked this before.. But, honestly James and I were MAD at God in the beginning.. I mean who wouldn't be! Our baby was taken in an instant with a warning. Now that time has gone by I am not angry. I feel like I am closer to him then I have ever been. He is taking care of my daughter you know ;)
James and I are closer now then we have ever been. I really think Maddie's death made us a better couple. A lot of marriages end because of something like this happening, and I am so thankful we are not in that statistic.

We have learned that my 3 year old son may have adhd. I was wondering if you have ever taught a kid that had it.. and what are some tips to help him learn his abc's & numbers??
Repeat, repeat, repeat, and repeat!! Honestly. It will drive you crazy but he will learn them. Also make learning them fun and try not to just do flash cards. Play basketball if he get the letter or number right he can shot a hoop. Just make it fun!!! Remember he is only 3! So his attention span is 3 minutes long. Don't make him sit there for 30 minutes ;)

How did you decide to name your daughter Madison Paige?
James and I have always liked the name Madison. It took us a while to pick out Paige but we just thought it sounded pretty.

After all the research that you have done, do you think you will do anything different when you have a rainbow baby??
Yes and No (if that makes sense). First of all we did NOTHING wrong. I have to keep telling my self that. I know we took care of Maddie the best way we knew how. I was so cautious with her. So, yes I may do things different with our next baby just because I am much more educated now.

I know you are a big planner, so when you and James hit your 5 year or 10 year anniversary how will you celebrate? Anything big???
Oh girl, I have NO idea!

What does James do for his job?
He works for my dad :) They make insulation sounds fun huh? :)
He is also a trained master BMW technician


LinkWithin

Photobucket
Using images by Laurie Ann at After 5 Designs and The Design Girl at ScrapMatters.