It has been one year since our Maddie girl went to be with Jesus.
I can't believe I have lived 365 days without my baby.
I can't believe it's been so long.
Today was a long day. I woke up for a horrible dream early and couldn't go back to sleep. James woke up not long after me. We laid in bed and I cried. It hit me hard this morning. We looked at pictures and watched videos of our sweet girl. We talked about all the things we love and miss about Maddie. I cried through the whole thing.
James and I finally got out of bed around 7:30. We went and got breakfast. I got a pink sprinkled doughnut for our sweet girl (It was very yummy). I had a doctor’s appointment at 10, so after breakfast I took a shower .I always seem to fall apart in the shower. Today was no different. I got sad, very sad and just started praying….praying for strength, and to feel Maddie around me today.
I cried all the way to the doctor. You see I haven't blogged about this, but we were going to the heart doctor. Today I was having an echo cardiogram done. Which is really just an ultrasound of my heart. It is ironic that I had this done today, on a day when my heart is so broken. ( I will blog about seeing a cardiologist soon. Don't worry I'm ok).
After the doctor we went to Maddie's spot. We stopped at the store to buy her some fresh flowers. We bought beautiful baby roses for our beautiful baby angel. It was drizzling and kind of yucky all day today. We got to Maddie's spot and it stopped raining. We stood there talking to her telling her we love her and placed her flowers in her vase. James and I took a step back and the sun light beamed down right over her spot. I told James that means she liked her flowers. It was amazing. It only lasted a few seconds and went away. I love getting signs from our Maddie.
Tonight we went out to dinner with James parents and really enjoyed their company. We stayed busy today which I think helped.
Today was a very hard day, but we made it. James and I want to say thank you for all of the prayers, e-mails, facebook messages, texts and calls. We really felt the love and support today.
Love you Maddie girl. We are another year closer to seeing you in Heaven.XOXOXO
