This Mother's Day was much different.
It was hard day. A day filled with many many tears. I think today has been one of the hardest day so far.
I should be holding my 6 1/2 month baby girl. We should be dressed in matching outfits going over to Mimi, and Nana's. But insted today I woke up on Mother's Day with only a baby in my heart. Maddie is no longer in my arms, so I do not feel like a mom.
I kept telling my self it will be ok, to just pretend like today is any other day, but that was impossible to do.
I hate this.
I hate today. How am I supposed to "do this"? Not today.. I just want to go to bed and for this to be over. Today is impossible.
But you see I can't.. This is my new life. I cant "take off these shoes".
Tomorrow I will wake up with the same feelings of wondering why?..Why Maddie? She was so healthy, so happy, so perfect. Why didn't we get to say goodbye? Would this of been any bit easier if we could of said good bye...probably not. We just have so many unanswered questions still.
Here we are our first family picture. Taken just a few minutes after Maddie was born. I remember that day like it was yesterday. Even with all the physical pain I'd go back to that day in a heartbeat to be with our Maddie again.
We miss you so much baby girl. Mommy and Daddy love you.
