James

When we got married I never imagined that we would have to venture through the loss of a child . No one ever thinks of all the hard times they may have as they are standing on the alter saying their vows.

4 years ago when our world fell apart I knew I had married the right man. James was always there for me. He let me grieve the way I needed to. He was always right there to try and pick me up when I was literally barely walking.

They say you are either going to sink or swim through such  a tragedy like ours.  It hasn't been easy, but I am so glad I have had my best friend right by my side. I can say we made it through one of the hardest things a couple can possibly go through. Even tho we are through the hardest times the pain is never going to go away. James is the only person that understands the hurt. I just have to tell him I am missing Maddie and he knows. He knows and he also feels how much our hearts long for her.

James has been our rock, our train, he just keeps going and going. After we lost Maddie we both said I would never work again after we had more kids. Well, here I am. Jackson is almost 3 and I have been at home since. It defiantly hasn't been easy. James has had to work 6-7 days a week for months on end. Yet, he has never complained once (ok maybe a few times), he just keeps at it. He stepped up without asking or expecting me to take on another job.He is simply amazing!

One of the things he loves the most is watching movies. He is a vast movie collector and has made a YouTube channel. His passion is going to the movies with his daddy and reviewing them. James has a great following on youtube and he has met alot of wonderful people!  I love that is he so passionate about it. You can head on over to his YouTube channel and watch his review tons of movies.  Me, I am not a "sitter". I can not sit for hours on end and watch movies. I try! I try to sit and watch them with him but I just cant do it. I always want to get up and do something! ha ha

Thanks babe for being such an amazing daddy, husband and role model. Maddie, Jackson, Brooklynn and I are truly proud to call you our daddy. You are such a hard worker and an amazing father! Thank you, thank you, thank you for all you do!! We  love you!

Our Brooklynn is 2 months old

Brooklynn...

I love her so much. She is such a sweet little girl. She is starting to show her personality and its so much fun!

She is 2 months (9 weeks old)
As of now she is:
-Eating 4 oz bottles. I haven't been keeping track of how often she eats. I honestly just feed on demand. She drinks mostly breast milk during the day and formula at night. Like I said in my last post.. I wanted to breastfeed so bad! We made it a few weeks (with some supplement),but then we both got way to stressed so I have been exclusively pumping since then.
-Sleeps at night from 9:00pm-4:00 am (these time vary nightly but this is the average)
-Weighs 10 pounds 15.5 ounces
-Brooklynn is on Zantac for her acid reflux. It's helping so much! She is spitting up less and is alot happier.
-Brooklynn seems to love her brother. We all know he loves her!
-She is wearing 3 month onesies and size 1 diapers. 
-23 inches long

I am so lucky to be able to stay home with her! Jackson is in preschool 3 days a week, so we get some good bonding time!

I still feel like its a dream. I cant believe we have another daughter!!!
James and I say this almost daily. We are so lucky to get a second chance.

I dream of the day I can take her with me to get our nails done, go shopping and gossip.

Now we are complete

It's been a while.
Honestly its been to long.
I got tired of blogging. It was getting to hard. Sometimes it felt like a job and I never wanted it to feel that way. I always wanted it to be my outlet to get things off my chest.

Then I was WAY to pregnant and tired to blog.

Now, I am just way to busy. I am going to make an extra effort to start blogging a little bit again. I have had many, many e-mails asking how we were. Thanks so much for those. It means a lot to me that you all still care.

We are doing great!!!

So, here is what we have been up to...


Brooklynn was born on February 10th at 4:41am.
I was 37 weeks 0 days pregnant but she was ready to come and boy did she ever come fast. I will do another post about her birthday another day.

I never thought I could ever love another daughter the way I love Maddie, but that is honestly not true. Now that she is here I know that I can love her just as much as I love our Maddie girl.

Brooklynn has been such a blessing. She is the one thing our little sweet family has been missing. I feel like we are whole now. We are completely in love with her and her sweet personality.

Having two earthly kiddos has not been easy. I am not here to sugar coat it. It's been hard at times and completely amazing at other times. Everyone told me Jackson would regress once she was here. Boy, was that ever wrong! The minute she got here he wanted to potty train. Yes, you read that right. We tried for months and months to potty train him. Brooklynn gets here and hes ready. I tried guys, and I tried hard, but I couldn't do it. I was pumping every 2 hours and nursing. My milks came in better this time but like the two other times it just wasn't enough. So, I stopped trying to train him. It was just to much for me.

Jackson is doing great. He is actually wonderful. He LOVES his little sister so much. HE still has to learn to be gentle with her but we are working on that. Can you believe he will be 3 soon?! Neither can I!

 

I'll be blogging more soon I promise! Until then go follow me on Instagram