Today's the day

Today's the day....

Jackson's braces are ready.

We have been waiting for this day for a while. Jackson has started to pushing around (walking behind) anything that will move. His PT told me not to let him do that..yeah right!

I pray the transition is smooth. Poor baby is teething and is very cranky.

Send all your positive thoughts our way today.

If anyone knows how to make this transition go smooth please let me know!

I'll post pictures of his special legs tomorrow.

Just a song..

James and I went on a short anniversary trip on Thursday (I will post about it soon). We were sitting down eating dinner. It was quiet and we were having a great time. All of the sudden we heard "the song". The song only our sweet Maddie knows about. It's an older song. A song James used to sing to Maddie. She played it for us loud and clear. We both started crying and the tornado touched down.

We sat at our table looking at pictures of her..watching videos..and crying.

It still hurts.

It's still not fair. It never will be.

We want more time with her.

As we were looking at her pictures we noticed she looks so much like Jackson. I wonder what she looks like now.... We wonder so many things. So many questions have been left unanswered.

Grief. There are so many ups and downs.  It's like a horrible roller coaster ride that you can not get off. It just keeps going and going and going and you just want off!

Rodan + Fields

 Ladies!!! Have y'all heard about Rodan + Feilds? 

Well you NEED to! Their skin care line is AMAZING!!!!

I got the privilege of trying out the Redefine and Soothe line and its seriously the best skin care line I have ever used!!! 

I have very sensitive skin so I tried the Soothe line first. I liked it. It was very gentle and I was impressed.

I also tried the Redefine. The  Redefine was my favorite! The step 1 is a face wash/mask and it smells soooooo good and it left my skin feeling amazing! The best part about Redefine is it  defends against and reduces the visible signs of aging for noticeably firmer, smoother, flawless-looking skin. I loved everything about this line!!!!!!

I also tried the Redefine Multi-Function eye cream. I have terrible dark circles under my eyes and I have for years. No product has ever taken them away and this product comes very close. My dark circles are almost gone! The best part about this product is that is anti-aging too. It minimize the appearance of crow’s-feet, helps reduce the appearance of both puffiness and dark under eye circles!!! HELLO I'm all over this!!!

Here is some info about R+F

Rodan + Fields was created by the same Doctor’s that created Proactiv. What they did for acne in the 90′s they are doing for do for aging skin now, getting great results, with tons of awesome publicity.

There are four major skin care lines and also a variety of other products to enhance the four regimens such as eye creams, body care, hand creams, and such.

Unblemish- for acne and post acne marks
Anti Age- for wrinkles, pore minimization, elasticity
Soothe-for sensitive skin (eczema, rosacea, etc.)
Reverse-for sun damage, and discolorations

Visit Kristy Holder’s site to find the best skincare solution regimen for you, it is never too early or too late to for beautiful skin!

Contact her for more questions and tell her you are one of my readers to get a 20 gift card if you sign up before the end of the month!

kristyholder@myrandf.com

https://kristyholder.myrandf.com/


Get some! I promise you won't be disappointed!

4 years

Today, 4 years ago, I married my best friend.

It was one of the best days of my life!!

 

Today...4 years, 2 kids, and 1 dog later I am still in love with my best friend. 

We have been through the worst pain any couple could go through and it only made us stronger.

We lean on each other daily for support.

We are a team.
We can not be broken.



James,
I love you so much!
Thanks for making all my dreams come true!
Here's to many more years!


 

Hurricane

It's back.

The grief hurricane. This time it came out of no where and hit me hard. It knocked me on my feet.

Yesterday I cried for most of the day. I kept thinking of all the memories of her. I kept thinking about all the memories I was forgetting. I miss my girl. I just want her back.

I went to her spot, sat there and cried. Once again those thoughts came back to me. The ones that sounds creepy. I just kept thinking I was so close to her body I just wanted to jump in and go get it (of course I would never do that).

I hope this hurricane leaves. They leave me drained and longing more for my Maddie even more then usual. My Jackson needs his happy mommy back.

A blur.

I think what I dreaded the most is happening....

As time goes on I feel like I'm starting to forget little things about Maddie. It seems like she was here so long ago. James helps to remind me of things, but I feel like most of my memories are fading away and this kills me.

I don't want to forget. I want to remember everything about my sweet little girl...her fists, her smile, her laugh, all the night/days we walked around the house with her screaming due to colic...
But, she was only here such a short time. I guess it's only natural to not remember everything. 4 months...that's like the blink of an eye.

I wish I could of recorded every second she was here with us on earth. I want to go back and watch it all. I want to remember everything.

Maddiegirl

I feel like Maddie has been around a lot lately...

I love it. I love feeling her around!

--Jackson and I were playing in her room and we found a baby Maddiebug

--One night I was watching Jackson on his monitor and I saw an object fly back and forth 5 times. I know it was his big sister. I wish I had recorded it. I was amazing!

--One of my best friends texted me one morning saying she was woken up that night thinking about my Maddie. 

--I was at the store one day and a guy stopped me to ask me where I got my "proud mommy of an angel sticker". 

I know she is around and I hope she keeps sending us signs. 

We all miss her so much! Love you Maddiegirl!

14 months

Jackson,
     You are 14 months old! That just sounds so old to me....14 months! Crazy!

This month I feel like you have really learned so much! I say that every month tho right?

-Just a few days ago you started clapping. I don't know why it took you so long, but you have that down now!
-You wear a size 5 diaper
-Wear 18 month clothes
-You weigh 25 pounds
-Sleep through the night. You go to bed around 8 and get up at 7-7:30. I am still working with you on nap time. Sometimes you will take  a nap sometimes you will not. If you do it is never longer then 45 minutes.
-You will eat anything! There is not a food I have given you that you have spit out. Your favorite food is ice cream. You LOVE it!
-This month you stayed with your Mimi over night. That was a huge step for mommy and daddy and you rocked it. You were such a good boy.
-Everyone tell us how cute you are. They all say you need to do baby modeling. I agree!
-You are standing a lot better. You still can not stand on your own but you can pull up like a pro! Your poor little right foot sticks out but your braces will help that!
-You love the pool! You love to splash mommy and daddy. You do not like when water gets on your face.
-You want what you want when you want it and if you don't you will throw a fit for about 20 seconds and then you will crawl off and find something to play with.
-You have really started talking. Daddy and I think you have your own language. You do not say to many things we can understand, but you talk non stop.
-You started calling Bella "ish". We are not sure where that came from but you love "ish".
-Just a few days ago you started to walk along the couch. You are not doing it very fast but its very cute to watch.
-You love remotes, balls, door, fans and anything you can throw. Did I mention you throw everything?
-You love to listen to mommy sing to you. Wheels on the bus is your favorite. (I'm sorry buddy mommies singing voice is pretty bad)
-You do not enjoy your car seat very much unless you are asleep in it.
-You love people. You met one of your MDO teachers and you went right to her and gave her a hug. You give the best hugs and you are so sweet.
-You are a pro at crawling. You can get somewhere super fast. You love to race the dog.
-I think a beaver lives in your bed. You are chewing all over your crib. One day I came into your room to get you and you had wood carvings all over your face.


Jackson we love you so much. You are such a joy to be around. You make mommy and daddy so happy! We love you!!

XOXO,
Mommy

4th of July

This was Jackson's second 4th of July. That is crazy to think. We are starting all his 2nd holidays!

Last year he was only 2 months old so we didn't do anything. So, this year we wanted to expose him to all the festivities. 

We started off by going over to my uncles pool party. We swam, ate hot dogs and yummy dessert. Jackson was pretty tired so we left for him to nap. Ok so we left and prayed he would take a nap. We knew he was going to have a long afternoon. We got lucky and he did nap!! 

After nap time we headed over to Nana and Paw Paw's. We hung out for a while and ate some yummy treats. We left there to come home and grab everything we needed to watch fireworks. As soon as we started to load up Jackson's wagon it started to pour! It rained and rained and rain. It was finally time to go and it was still raining. We loaded up umbrellas and hoped it would stop raining.

We drove over to the fire work festival and it was STILL raining! After sitting in the car for a while it finally stopped! So we headed out to see the fire works. Everything was set up in a huge field. Well it just rained so we decided to sit on the concrete(hello mud). I brought Jackson a huge blanket and some garbage bags as a tarp. I also brought him so toys. He had a great time! We ate kettle corn and just hung out until the fire works started.

At first Jackson didn't even see the fireworks when he finally saw them he liked them! I pulled him around him his wagon as he watched them.

The show was great, not to long and beautiful. After it was over we headed back to the car. Let me just tell you there must of been hundreds of people there watching the fire works. The whole parking lot was full and it took forever to get out of the parking lot.

By the time we got home it was 10:00 and way past Jackson's bed time. James bought some small fireworks and really wanted Jackson to see them. So we let Jackson stay up till 10:30.

Jackson, James and I had a great 4th of July. We all had a blast hanging out with our families and just being together.

I will post some pictures later! :)