Easter..

Who ever thought we would be celebrating Easter at the cemetery? Defiantly not us!

Today was hard...but with James by my side we made it!

I decided today I was going to start couponing again..to take my mind off of today. I haven't use coupons since Maddie passed away....that remind me of her (like most things do). We have to start saving money, because I am going to be a stay at home mom some day! I am not going to get all crazy like those extreme couponing ladies on TLC. I don t think we need 56 bottles of mustard. he he

So, this morning I woke up with a goal... Get a newspaper, make a grocery list and go save money and go see our precious baby girl.

Well part of my plan didn't work out so well. James and I got up went to the store and got a paper. I was SOOOO excited ( I just love coupons). We got home with the paper so I could make my grocery lists (yes, more then one). ...and there was NO coupons in the paper!!!! BOO!!!!!!!!
I did get to look at the store ads, so it wasn't a total bust.

After my sad coupon let down .. I made Maddie and Easter bow. It wasn't the kind of bow I wanted to make you see. I made her a bow for her flower vase for her grave, not for he beautiful strawberry blond hair. At least I feel like I got to do something for her. It turned out so bueatiful!

Maddie's Nana and Popsicles also got her a pretty wreath (but I couldn't get it in the picture).

Going to her grave today was hard, but I felt like she was there. She knows we love her so much. I am so grateful that I can still feel her presence. I hope I can forever. I know she will always live in our hearts but I love when I feel like she was around.

Happy First Easter baby girl. Mommy and Daddy love you so much!

Easter

I made it through Easter break at work..just a small goal I had set for my self.

We had lots of learning fun yesterday in Mrs. Staats Kindergarten class. During one of our activities one of my students saw a picture of Maddie and she said, "Your baby is dead!". I wanted to be mad or bust out in tears..but I didn't. The truth is, she is gone...but she will always be a part of me. So I think I did good yesterday. I felt like I really had a great day...and it was even Thursday!!!

Today is good Friday and we are off of school. James is also off of work.We love spending time together and I think it's a much needed long weekend! I am planning on getting some blocks made. Michelle and her son are coming over and my mom is coming to meet her. Then Sunday its Easter...and it makes me sad. Maddie should be wearing her new Easter outfit with a cute little bow and matching shoes...but the truth is she won't be. She isn't here any more. She is with God. I know he has her all dolled up for Easter. I think James and I are going to go to church tonight. We think it may be easier then on Sunday. I just really dont think I can handle seeing all the little girls in their Easter dresses.

I wonder what Maddie looks like today with her beautiful angel wing and strawberry blonde hair... I can only imagine how stunning she is.

This is a cute picture of Maddie from Christmas!