Today I went to Maddie's spot. It's so pretty there. I am so glad James and I picked that spot for her under beautiful tall trees.
It was cool and the wind was blowing. I sat down and talk to Maddie. I rubbed her stone and wiped off the dirty on her picture.
I sat there talking to her. Then wind stopped blowing and it was still. A little bird was chirping and chirping and it was such a pretty sound. All I could think of was Maddie. Was it her saying ,"Mommy I'm ok"? I looked up and saw the bird. Then the bird stopped and just stared at me. I smiled. Maybe it was Maddie. She needed to see me smile.
Its little things like birds that make me happy these days.
I am really missing Maddie today. I have been pretty upset since I left Maddie's spot and I cant seem to stop crying. I miss her so much.
It was cool and the wind was blowing. I sat down and talk to Maddie. I rubbed her stone and wiped off the dirty on her picture.
I sat there talking to her. Then wind stopped blowing and it was still. A little bird was chirping and chirping and it was such a pretty sound. All I could think of was Maddie. Was it her saying ,"Mommy I'm ok"? I looked up and saw the bird. Then the bird stopped and just stared at me. I smiled. Maybe it was Maddie. She needed to see me smile.
Its little things like birds that make me happy these days.
I am really missing Maddie today. I have been pretty upset since I left Maddie's spot and I cant seem to stop crying. I miss her so much.
23 comments:
You are such a good Mommy to Maddie. I have a baby son and now a baby girl on the way. I am very thankful you have posted helpful hints about SIDS on your blog. I live hundreds of miles away from you, but I feel like you have helped me see changes that I need to make. Thank you :)
Hugs hugs and more hugs. I just want to give you virtual
Hugs.
Kellie,
Do you mind contacting me about another SIDS mama. We are doing something in honor of SIDS. missyprissybowboutique@yahoo.com
It sounds like it was a beautiful moment with the bird. Those are the things I love to hear the most from people that suffer a great loss like you and your husband, how a simple bird, or the wind stopping can put that smile we miss on our face. Those are the moments we can cherish the rest of our lives as well. Wishing you all the best my dear.
This made me smile.. I love u sweet friend!!! We all need to see you smile.
I HAD to share... Please read my blog post:
http://jdurgeat.blogspot.com/2011/08/i-think-its-totally-possible.html
I truly, truly believe that it's totally possible that the little bird was Maddie!
I hold on to moments like those, and they do bring me much happiness!
Such a precious, beautiful moment. Thank you for sharing this with us. You are a good Mommy to Maddie.
So sorry you are feeling extra sad today, what a sweet little bird ; ) I hope it was your little Maddie checking on you, how sweet would that be! Prayers and hug for you.
I wish there was something that we could do to take your pain away. I am so sorry that you are hurting today. Its not fair to see people hurt, who really miss and deserve to have their children because they are really good parents. Praying for you!!! (((HUGS)))
I feel like God has put it on my heart to pray for you the past few days. I hope He is lifting you up. I am thinking of you. Jen
I still think of you every day. I just wanted you to know that. Hugs.
sweet Kellie.. Im so so sorry... I know Maddie was there. She does want to see you smile but it sure doesnt make it easy to do. There are still days I just cant smile to save my life. I cant find a reason to. It takes time to get out of that. This is all so new- so raw for you. I wish I could hug you. Just to know someone else knows what this is like. So many people think they do... They are sweet and try to relate certain circumstances in life to what we have gone through but its not the same. I have been meaning to write you about your harsh comments on your blog. Whats so funny to me is that people seem to forget that this is YOUR blog. Its not the bible. Your not speaking for anyone but you. Somehow they take it to heart. They get so upset. I have had some horrible things said on my blog. I just delete the comments. There have been some that have just shook me to the core. Usually when they talk about Makenzie. Then there are others that I just have to laugh at.. I think-- Seriously... Get a life. How about doing something productive with yourself instead of trying to "put me in my place".
Just know If you ever want to talk or vent Ill listen... and ill laugh or cry with you.
If you could email me I have something to send you.
livingformrw.blogspot.com
You are amazing. Maddie is so very proud of you and she is such a lucky girl to have you as her mama. Thinking of you often!
such a sweet story, i just adore when things like that happen!
you are such a fabulous mother to be visting there and chatting with her!! <3
hugs and prayers sent your way
hailey <3
Thinking of you daily and wishing peace for your heart. I love that Maddie came checking in on her mommy today. Please know that there are many, many of us who love your blog and support you 100%!!!
Thank you for sharing information about SIDS and other general safety issues. Thank you for sharing photos you've taken. Thank you for sharing recipes. Thank you for sharing your life with us. And most of all, thank you for sharing Maddie.
<3 from FL
Praying for you today. May God give you even a breath of comfort through the dark days.
I know your sweet Maddie is with you always! I think that right when you need her she will always show up! Praying for you
I am so glad you found peace with the little birdie. :) I think about your story often and just want you to know you are always in my prayers.
I'm glad Maddie sends you little signs of Love from above. There is no doubt in my mind it was her. I am always thinking of you and James. God is with you always! And so is Maddie!
Aww, Kelly I am so sorry you're having a sad last couple of days. I read your post about vaccinations and I think you are just trying to do exactly what you said you're doing- trying to find some kind of answers.....you deserve to post about whatever you want to post. I'm so glad that I can still read your blog b/c you are inspiring. Keep your head up...not only for you, but for Maddie too. She's one lucky girl to have you for a mommy. Hugs!!
Hi, started reading your blog when I found it through another friend's blog. I am a mother of a 4.5-month-old boy and can't imagine what you're going through. I am also a medical doctor and was "intrigued" by your post about vaccines. I don't want to make any comment about my own personal opinions about vaccines, as I'm sure you've already gotten plenty of feedback (both wanted and unwanted) from other people. I do understand you wanting to understand what happened to your little girl, however.
That said, there is some very interesting research coming out of the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory at the University of Notre Dame (http://cosleeping.nd.edu/). It has a lot to do with breastfeeding and sleeping arrangements and how what we do in the Western world (bottlefeed our babies, put them to sleep alone in cribs, try to get them to sleep through the night as soon as possible) may actually be detrimental to their health and well-being.
By no means do I want you to feel guilty about anything you may or may not have done while your daughter was alive. I merely wanted to send you the link so you can, if you feel inclined, peruse some very interesting information that is backed by research and not just speculation.
Keep your head up! You have so many people praying for you and your very own, very special guardian angel. Hoping better days are coming soon for you!
Keep your head up. You have so many people praying for you, and your very own, VERY SPECIAL guardian angel. Hoping better days are coming your way, and that somehow you can find peace through this awful tragedy.
Love the little bird being so sentimental, makes me smile just thinking about it. You are so strong and I admire you so much. My thoughts are with you and your family
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