It's the most dreaded month of the year for me.
It brings back so many (excuse my language) damn memories that I just want to forget.
Being at work. chatting with my co workers. getting "the call". running to my moms classroom screaming...shaking...already knowing my baby was gone. riding in the car, crying. praying. running into the hospital. being taken to "that room". being told "she didn't make it". crying. telling James "she didn't make it". being told we couldn't see our daughter. wanting to fight the police officers. screaming inside my head. wanting to throw up. screaming. crying. being held. holding James. wanting to see my baby. being told no. being interviewed by a police officer. wanting to hold my baby. being told no. finally leaving my baby, my little girl in the hospital forever after being told I couldn't see her. we knew we had to leave but why. What were we going to do? Our baby was gone and we were not even allowed to see her. WHY???
I have tried to forget all these memories for 3 years. But this February I will remember.
I want everyone to remember my girl.
She is very much a part of me today as she was nearly 3 years ago.
9 comments:
Even after 3 years, your family is still in my thoughts. One time I even wore pink for Maddie <3
I am so sorry for your loss. Your daughter will always be a part of your family, always in your heart. I pray your days are filled with the wonderful memories of your time with her.
So sorry. I can't even imagine. It is obvious she lives on through you and your son. Hugs.
Why couldn't you see her? that seems so odd and so strange.
Hospitals always allow closure why couldn't you see her? I would not have ever left without seeing her.
Just my thoughts... not accusing I just don't understand.
what were they hiding and I still wonder about the babysitter.
Sending more love and prayers to your family. No one will ever forget Maddie or your family for the love they have for her and keeping her memory alive. You're doing great Momma! She's a part of your life every day.
I know how you are feeling Kellie, tonight Feb 6th @ 8:59PM our little boy would be 12 years old.We are LOST without him. Im sure they are all together dancing on the stars and having fun celebrations . God Bless You and Yours.
xoxoxox Sending you lots of prayers and hugs. So many of out here never met Maddie...but her story has left such a big imprint on our hearts. Every time...and I mean EVERY time I see a lady bug...I think of your sweet girl xo
Ugh! This brings back so many awful awful memories for me. Getting that text. Rushing to the hospital. Talking to your mom on the phone. Seeing your mom and Brad in the parking lot. Seeing you and James in that room. That stupid horrible room. Making phone calls... The memories are so vivid. I hate those memories. I can't fathom your hate. You are so strong. You've been so strong all along. I love you and I'm here... Just like always. I think of maddie every day. I'll never forget her. Ever. Be strong for her through this shitty month of horrible memories! Look to Jack and James to make memories that make you smile. Know I'm always here. Always. Hugs
We lost our first born, Grayson, to SIDS 11 years ago. Your sweet beautiful baby girl has a special place in my heart. Praying for you and your husband!
Kelley
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