Also knowing that summer starts in 9 more school days, I'm sure is helping! I have so much to do this summer and I am SOOOOO excited...blocks to make, I am opening up my shop to custom bow orders, many many photo sessions to shoot...and I am planning our 2nd wedding anniversary weekend!
I am really trying to stay positive..but I know next month will be hard. Next month is the turning point... The point of time when Maddie will be heaven longer then she was with us, and it hurts. I hate even typing those words. It's just NOT fair! I have heard from other angel mommies that day is unbearable and I am NOT looking forward to it at all.
So right now I am going to stay optimistic and excited about this summer. Hopefully you will see pictures of me tan REALLY soon!! :)
17 comments:
It sounds like it's going to be a wonderful summer for you :)
Kellie,
I am so glad to see that you had posted a blog. I have been getting worried about you. I kept checking to see how you were doing and nothing was posted then I would check again and nothing again now finally I got to see that you have been having good days. I think about everyday (not in a wierd kind-of way either). But you think of how you are doing handling your "new" life.
I can't wait to see your preggo blog. You are a wonderful mom and you derserve to have another baby.
Well good hearing from you!!
In my thoughts!!
Dee
Praying for you. You have people... Everywhere, praying for you!
That's great you are feeling so optimistic today! I think that it is important you allow yourself to feel good some days. I think we often feel guilty if we have a *good* day around a situation that is so terrible, however that is not the case! You should revel in the experiences you had and look to the future!
Of course there are going to be hard days, however, we all have them and yes..the shoes are stuck on forever, but each day the soles will chip away until you feel more liberated and less weight.
As an educator, I definitely know how children can ask off the wall questions and can be hard to bare, but regardless if you have an other child soon or not..you have LOTS of children and are being a mother in so many facets. Like the letter a parent wrote you...you see these children more than some of their parents do. Imagine YOUR impact :o))) The days are getting longer, the weather nicer, and you are becoming more adjusted to the changes in your life. You are becoming a photographer with some great images! (I love Lightroom, too.) Look at all the great things Maddie has led you to! You have friends all around the world, an amazing support team, wonderful memories of a shining little ladybug. Sometimes it can be so hard to see the silver lining..but today..it seems you have achieved that!
I wish you nothing but happiness from here on out.
YAY for summer!! Sounds like you are going to have a great one!
Hey there Kellie. I keep checking in on you imagining the stage you are in now. I know we are not the same and we deal with this differently but I just imagine what I did and went through and I always hurt so much thinking you are now in that same boat. That same stage. I remember that feeling of fear. Fear knowing the day would come whens he would be in Heaven longer than I was her Mother. It made me so sick I couldnt stand it. For me it fell on Mothers Day last year... Nice right? but no matter what day it would have been it would have felt the same. I cant tell you how you will feel or what you should do. I wish I could. For me, It was probably the worst day since she had passed. But you are so strong you might have a different take on the day. Anyway. I hate to dwell on it. I just want you to know I think about you so much. I think about Maddie all the time. I wish I could hug you. The first time I ever hugged another mom who knew this pain- it changed me. It was almost a year after she passed that I was able to do that. Weird right? It seems so many people come out with losing a child- esp in the blog world- but I had never been able to meet up with another Mom. I just wish I could hug you, let you know that you are free to feel any and everyway.
Praying for you.
Kendra.
Yay for summer vacation! I think it's great you're trying to stay optimistic. Sounds like you will have a busy summer.
Thinking about you Momma
I hope that you continue to stay optimistic!
I can't wait to see what you have planned for your wedding anniversary because I am trying to plan our anniversary trip too. :)
Thinking of you missy!
Oh Kellie...I'm so very sorry that you have that big hurdle coming up. I'm sure it won't be the last one. Everytime a big milestone approaches, I know you'll be thinking today would have been the day Maddie would have (fill in the blank). I know it's not fair that she's gone and that you guys are now left picking up the pieces trying to go on and always wondering in the back of your minds why and what you could have done to change it. I am so proud of you for being so strong and moving forward. Many would have been broken by the experience. Maddie is proud of you and waiting for the day you guys can be together again. She is in God's hands now. Please remember there are so many friends, family members and strangers who are now a part of your world and continuing to send you healing and prayers.
I just wanted to let you know I saw a ladybug today, thought of you, and said "hello Maddiebug".
I'm so happy to hear how excited you are! You deserve to be happy! I will be praying for you and James (and your entire family) to get through any tough times. I hope you all feel God's comfort and love in your journey.
I'm glad that you are looking forward to the summer. :) I hope it's a wonderful one for you! :)
I just know you are going to have a great summer. Maddie will be with you inspiring you in your photography & crafts. Keep smiling & know that many people are thinking of you. I know that you & Maddie have touched my heart.
I wanted to say this earlier that you looked beautiful in the picture with you and your husband, but I realized I was logged in under my boyfriend's account and it took me a minute to figure out what was going on when I saw the last comment I posted under "Brandon" lol. You probably wondered why some guy you didn't know was sending you hugs lol. I'm sorry about that but hope it gives you a nice laugh. I'm not even sure what to say about the day that is coming up for you, I know nothing I say will ease your pain. All I can do is pray that the lord helps console you that day. Strength and peace be with you always. <3
Always thinking of and praying for you! Praying for you to have continued strength and many more good days! Maddie loves seeing her beautiful Mommy happy! Hugs!
Post a Comment