I am still here

I am still here!

I have just been very busy with Jackson and teaching. I promise I will sit down soon and write a "real" blog.

As for now. We are all doing great. Jackson is getting so big and so am I! hahaha
Baby is going to be here before we know it.

4 years old

Our dearest Maddie is 4 years old in heaven today.

4 years old. How did this happen? 

This birthday has hit me pretty hard. I teach preschool and the kids in my class are 4. So, I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on how she would be acting.
I am sure she would of loved Frozen. She should be prancing around our house singing "let it goooooooooo" in the most amazing voice.
I should be singing with her being sooooo loud in her Elsa costume.
I should be painting her toenails pink because that's the only color she likes. 
I should be reading books to her about princesses.
We should be working really hard on letters and sounds to get her ready to start school soon.

I really try hard not to think about all the things she I am missing out on. I know she is doing all of it and so much more in heaven, but I just want to experience everything with her. That is one of the things I miss the most.

I don't know if being pregnant has made me so emotional this birthday, or if its just a rough patch in my grief process. I bet it's a a little of both. I think going through all her stuff has really made my grief process start in a different direction.

It's hard to think this way, but if she was still here would we have Jackson? or even Brooklynn? I cant imagine my life without them. I know she was called to heaven for a reason and one day we will find out why. As for now we need to keep our heads up. Maddie knows we love with with all our hearts and we are so grateful she is watching over her little brother and sister. Some people only dream of angels, I held one in my arms.

Happy Birthday my sweet little girl.
I know you are partying big up in Heaven. I love you to the moon and back.

Gender Reveal Party

We had our gender reveal party. It was not as big as we had the past. Really, it was just a fun time with some yummy cake. Here are a few pictures. 

 Our Jackson boy with blue hair

I made balloons that were filled with pink or blue confetti. I was very scared to pop them. EKKK

 Here we go!!

It's a..........

 GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are beyond excited to be having another girl. We found out very early on from a blood test. When my OB's nurse called and told me I hit the floor crying. It still doesn't seem real. We haven't seen her on ultrasound since we found out. We have to wait until our 20 week appointment. So, until then we wait. But, the bloodtest is 99% accurate. As a mom I just want to see the goods on ultrasound. HAHA!

Soon, we will share her name. :)

A little miracle

Thank you all SO much for the well wishes.
We are beyond thrilled to be pregnant with another miracle.

I am so sorry I haven't been posting much. I have been very sick.
Morning All day sickness is a catch22. Come on lets be real- it sucks..like bad, but its good because it tells me the baby is doing great!

This pregnancy has been very hard. Chasing a 2 year old, trying to keep up with house work and being a good wife all while trying not to throw up has been hard... like really hard. Lets not even talk about changing dirty diapers.. OMG! Some days I will tell you I don't know how I am going to make it (uhm, yesterday). Then I have other days like today that I say, "I can do this".

There is absolutely no way I could get through this without James. He has really been so great. He picked up where I have had to leave off. I know seeing your wife miserable for weeks upon weeks has to be so hard on him. I mean he goes to work all day then comes home to a crazy toddler and a wife who is about to throw up on him and a house that looks like a tornado. Seriously yall...he's amazing! (Thank you babe!)

I want to do another post on our infertility struggles. I debated and debated on blogging about this but I guess its a part of my "Story" and it needs to be told. I will save it for another day.

I hope everyone is doing great. Please pray this sickness to go far, far away! :)

Well....

 

Baby number 3 due March 3!!

Thank you and I need help!!!!

Yall are blowing me away with all the people who headed over to Instagram and started following me! Don't hesitate to comment yall!

I didnt really get to many comments on the vlogging. Maybe I'll do what someone said...just vlog the summer bucket list and more vlogging of Mr. Jackson.

Jackson has gotten so big! We haven't gone to his 2 year check up yet, but after we do I post all his stats. He is SO tall I wonder what percentage he is in.

Also, I know I have posted about this before but Jackson will not eat much at all. I mean seriously he only eats:Fruit (some not all kinds and recently he chews it up and spits it out), carrots (sometimes- mostly he spits them out), chips (goldfish or any crunchy chip), peanut butter (sometimes- and not peanut butter sandwiches), yogurt, cheese (sometimes- most of the time  no), cereal, waffles

He refuses to eat any meat, any veggies, anything that looks like a real meal, lunch meat, hotdogs,grilled cheese, p b and j sandwiches, chicken nuggets, fish sticks, mac n cheese..the list goes on and on

What do I do with him??? I have tried to only put one thing on his plate that he will eat and the other stuff like he doesn't care for (which is everything). When I did that he just ate the stuff he liked and sat and cried. I never gave in once and the next morning he still didnt seem hungry. I am just at a loss with that to do. Ive researched and tried everything I know. I'd love some suggestions. When we go for his check up I will also be asking about this.

Vlogging

Ok so I have to confess...

I tried my hand at vlogging (video blogging) and let me just say it was..... BORING!

All I did was video our daily happenings but gosh I didn't even post it because yall would be bored to death! But, I do want to start posting some videos of Jackson. He is so stinkin cute and funny. Seriously yall if you saw how smart he is you would be blown away!

Sorry Iv'e been MIA again. It's summer time and we have been busy having fun!
If you follow me on Instagram I have been posting all of our summer pictures.
I started a summer bucket list! #staatssummerbucketlist
I have been waiting to dance and play in the rain, but it has yet to rain long enough for us to even get outside!

What has everyone been up to?
Should I start vlogging?
Do you guys want to see more videos of Jackson?