Today got me wondering...We are going to miss out on so many things with her. I hope God knows how to scrapbook. I want to see it all!!!!!
Things I wonder....
-I wonder what she would look like. I bet she would be bigger. She was always right on track.
-The week before she went to heaven her hair was starting to turn more blonde. I bet our red head girl would of been a blonde hair girl by now.
-I wonder if she would be eating cereal by now? Or would she like it? Maddie LOVED to eat so I'm sure she would of ate it all up.
-I wonder if she would be rolling over.
-Would she still have her fists all balled up?
-Would she want to take a paci now?
-Would she start to love baths?
-Would that little blue vein on her head still be showing?
-Would she like her bouncer now? She never really did before.
It breaks my heart that we wont get to experience these things with her. I wish we had skype straight to heaven.
I had such a calm feeling all day today. I did so good. I didnt get upset all day until... I went to Party City to buy her 5 pink balloons.
I want to send her balloons every month. We wrote her a note and attached it to the balloons.
James and I walked outside to let them go ..but we couldn't. We held on. When we felt Maddie was there. We let go.
(I didn't get a good picture of the back)
James and I stood and watched the balloons until we couldn't not see them anymore....then we knew Maddie had them.
Also in our backyard we have a Maddie tree. It was graciously donated to us from a great friend. This is the tree James takes such great care of!
Today the auction for baby Maddie started. This auction is put together by the wonderful ladies at The Mommy Playbook. They have been there for my through infertility, pregnancy, giving birth, postpartum, the 4 wonderful months I got to spend with Maddie, and now. <3 Thanks so much!!!!!
Also in our backyard we have a Maddie tree. It was graciously donated to us from a great friend. This is the tree James takes such great care of!
Today the auction for baby Maddie started. This auction is put together by the wonderful ladies at The Mommy Playbook. They have been there for my through infertility, pregnancy, giving birth, postpartum, the 4 wonderful months I got to spend with Maddie, and now. <3 Thanks so much!!!!!
72 comments:
Wow! The balloons being sent to heaven & the note touched my heart! You've taught me to be a better mother & to always cherish every moment!
Happy 5 months Maddie <3
Love: Megg
Happy 5 month Birthday sweet Maddie!!!
Happy 5 months beautiful angel :)
Happy 5 months precious angel...
I visit your blog daily and pray for you and your family all of the time ;)
Happy 5 Months Pretty Girl!! As I read and see your mommy and daddy grieve so much over you I know you were such a blessing to them. In heaven you are free from this mean world but keep giving your Mommy signs that you are with her every step of the way! I know Jesus is taking such good care of you! Enjoy the PINK balloons =)
Happy 5 months to the most beautiful little girl I never met. I hold her so close to my heart. She has changed my life in so many ways. She has made me realize that everyday with my children is a gift. That I am writing the story of my only life...every single day. I hold my 5 month old daughter everyday, and we talk to Maddie. I want Aida to know Maddie...and know that mommy is a better mommie...because of Maddie.
Thank you, Kellie...for your gift to the world. Your precious babygirl. We love her in Iowa.
Courtney Kaffenberger
Happy Birthday Maddie! :-) Kellie, you are such an inspiration to me... I truly feel that Maddie reminds me each and every day to be a better Mommy. You will always be in my prayers.
Happy 5 months Maddie!!!
Stay strong Kellie - <3
Love the bow in your hair Kellie!! Happy 5 months to your little Maddie. I bet God had something special for her today.... And I know she got your note! I continue to pray daily for you and your husband. I pray for comfort, for peace, a strengthening of faith and memories of Maddie. It's crazy how this sweet little baby I didn't even know has affected my life! Can't put a bow on my little girls head without thinking of you guys!! Maddie has touched my heart and my children have been given a better mommy because of her. Love to you and your family!!!
I love that you sent Maddie some balloons and a note. I'm sure she loved them and is still smiling at them in heaven. She is a beautiful baby girl and you guys are amazing parents.
Happy 5 months to precious Maddie. I know she loved the pink balloons :)
This brought tears to my eyes. Kellie, you are such a wonderful Momma! I know Maddie is helping you through this rough time. Happy 5 months Maddie!
I bet maddie is playing with her balloons now. Happy 5 month birthday Sweet Maddie. We miss you!
Happy 5 months beautiful girl. & To Kellie - you are so strong! I read your blog everyday and it has touched my heart. It makes me cherish every day with my daughter..good and bad. I know you loved Maddie very much..you were and still will be great parents! I hope you can find solitude in at least knowing you gave Maddie more in 5 months then some children get ever. She had a GREAT life no matter what the length. I tear up as I write this..I don't have anything else to say besides how sorry I am, and thank you for helping us ALL remember that we should not take each day for granted.
Happy 5 months to your baby girl. I am continuing to keep your family in my prayers. I also wanted to reach out to you in case you would like to meet with other baby loss moms in the city. Please take a look at our Facebook page when you have a moment and feel free to e-mail me anytime.
Hugs to you!
xoxo
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Face2Face-Southwest-Houston/176181612424033
aidensmom112@gmail.com
Happy 5 months Maddie!
Like many others, I have been following your blog since your daughter passed. I have not commented yet, but this post gave me chills. A friend of mine passed away when I was in college, and we sent balloons up to him at his memorial. I will always remember that, and the feeling of connectedness that allowed me to have with my friend.
I am sorry that you can only imagine what your beautiful girl would be doing, or what she would look like now. Please know that you have made so many mothers like myself slow down and enjoy their children that much more. Maddie has truly touched so many of us.
Love,
The Brown's in Colorado
Happy 5 months, Maddie!
Kellie, I read you blog everyday and keep you in my prayers even more often.
I love the balloons....I'm sure Maddie does too! What beautiful pictures, brought tears to my eyes as your posts usually do!
Happy 5 Months sweet baby girl!
Happy 5 Months Precious Maddie!!!
You will see her and get to pick up right where you left off in raising her. Take heart and breathe.
Beautiful post.
Happy 5 months to your beautiful angel.
I know you don't know me, but my name is Ashleigh. I started following your post the day Maddie went to meet the Lord. I am so very sorry for your loss. I wanted to share these two videos with you. The first was thought of because of this post, and you releasing the balloons for Maddie's 5th month of life...The second, because I felt like it was a lovey song to express how I would feel in your position...I hope you like both.
I am very sorry for your loss. I am very proud of you and your husband for you continuous love and progress. You are both so strong and I wish you both the best of luck in your lives!!
I am sending all of my love to all three of you...you, James, and Maddie!
<3 Ashleigh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th6Njr-qkq0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUJMrAjpmdU
I am so sorry for your loss. Just want you to know I am praying for your family.
Happy five months sweet Maddie!
Kellie,
Those pictures are so beautiful. The clouds couldn't have been in a better place. Its like Maddie painted the sky for you to have beautiful pictures. I am sure that She was so excited when she saw her pretty pink balloons that you sent her. I agree, I wish Heaven had skype too. Just so I could see what my Angel looked like. This past October was 4 years. I would be getting ready for my baby to start school in the next year or so and that is so hard to believe. You never stop thinking about them because they were a piece of you. I hope you have a great day tomorrow and I hope Maddie continues to show you that she is there with you always. Praying for you.
Crystal
Happy 5 months beautiful little Maddie!!
You and James are always in my thoughts and prayers!! Lots of Love!!
Laura
The balloons is an amazing idea! Happy 5 months to Maddie! You are such an amazing mom!
Thank you for sharing this special moment. Once again you have reminded us all to cherish our families, to love a little stronger. If anything tragic happened in my life it would help me to know that I have touched other peoples' lives. I want you to know you are touching so many peoples' lives. People you don't even know. Your sweet angel is a blessing to you and now to all of us to. We are leaning so many lessons from her sweet spirit.
Beautiful....you are both so strong.
I am so glad you took all the advise about sending balloons!! My mom passed away when I was 6 and at the end of counceling, my therepist took me out to send a balloon up to her. There was no wind and trees around. It got stuck in a tree and I started getting really sad. All of a sudden, they moved and went up to heavan. I know it was her grabbing the balloons and going back to heavan. It was awesome. Stay strong!!
What a beautiful heart you have. I'm sure Maddie LOVED her balloons and misses you just as much as you and your husband miss her. These days, I often wonder what Heaven would be like, and if everyone would know and love everyone, and there were no secrets. I like to pretend that raindrops are God's way of returning all the tears that were shed for the people we love and miss. My head cannot wrap around the idea of eternity, that we did not exist before, and we do not physically exist after. But then, I do not remember pain, and I will not have to anticipate pain when Christ returns. I am so jealous of Maddie. Having such wonderful parents and getting to hang out with God until we all join her. I can't wait to meet her in Heaven. I think of you all everyday, and am continually praying for your peace. Happy 5 months, Maddie!!!
Love from Florida,
Jen <3
I am so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you and your family. I have been praying for you all. Your story reminds me to cherish every moment.
Happy 5 Months to your beautiful daughter!
Such a Sweet idea,im sure she is loving her pretty ballons,and beautiful note from Mommy and Daddy..Glad to see you feeling better today..One day at a time..Hope you and your hubby have a Great St.Pattys week...Us Irish over here love to spread the word..: ) xox
gen
Happy 5 months Maddie <3
Kellie- The pictures are beautiful! I thought about you and Maddie a lot today! I hope sending her balloons with a letter made today a little easier. I can imagine her in heaven playing with her balloons!! <3 I bet she just loves them! Continuing to pray for you and your family! Happy 5 months to that beautiful angel of yours! Huggs!
-Cassie (<3 from Wisconsin)
I've been following your blog since you lost your beautiful princess. And everyday I cry because it breaks my heart that she was taken from you. I pray for your family and sweet Maddie daily. She was such a beautiful baby and I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Your a wonderful mother and when I'm having a bad night fighting to get my baby boy to sleep and want to scream, I think "Kellie/Maddie wouldn't want this, she'd want me to cherish every moment with him-even the bad times" & it reminds me that nothing lasts forever. Not the bad times, and certainly not the good. I've never met you, but you have no idea how much you and Maddie have touched my heart and my life. Sweet Maddie was only on this Earth for a short time, but she will live on in the hearts of so many forever. I love the idea of sending her balloons to Heaven, I'm sure she was so happy to get them from her Mommy and Daddy. Happy 5 months sweet girl. Stay strong Kellie.
Sending Love, Hugs, and Prayers to Kellie, James, and Princess Maddie
Happy 5 months sweet Maddie
You are still in my prayers. My sister sends balloons and notes to heaven on her baby's birthday. He would have been three years old in Jan. She also makes cupcakes with her other boys on the baby's birthday. Angel babies are never forgotten, and her boys look forward to celebrating it. I'm glad that you and your husband sent balloons to heaven for Maddie's 5mo!
Such a beautiful way to remember your angel's 5 month birthday... and lovely to think that she's playing with the balloons you sent her xoxo
I don't know you, but I feel like I do. I've read your blog, and I've prayed for your family. I'm so sorry about Maddie, and cannot imagine the hurt that you feel. My daughter wore a big bow for Maddie, but I never sent you the picture. I pray that you will continue to grow one day stronger, and know that it will be one day at a time. You are in my thoughts and prayers. The balloons to Heaven was so sweet.
What beautiful pictures and a beautiful way to honor 5 months! I bet when you and James saw those balloons go out of sight, Maddie was there to pluck them from the sky and always have them. Happy 5 months, Maddie. Stay strong Kellie! Thinking of you guys <3
Kellie,
I have been following your blog since I saw the Wear A Bow In Memory of Maddie event was posted on facebook. I have wanted to write so many times before, but just didn't feel "right" since I don't really know you. We do the balloon/ note thing with my niece on her birthday and her Angel day. She was 17 years old when she was killed by a drunk driver. It will be 3 years on July 28th. Even though the circumstances are totally different, we feel a little closer to Amanda when we do this. I also wanted to comment on one of your previous posts, the one about finding things in different places (the ribbon and the earring back). I had a pair of snowman slippers that when you walked in them the cheeks would light up red. Shortly after Amanda passed the slippers would randomly start blinking even though they weren't being worn. I'm convinced it was my niece playing tricks on me!!! I loved it!! It made me realize that even though she wasn't "here" she was still there, watching over and teasing us!!! I'm sure Maddie will do the same with you and your husband!! Cherish it!!! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband in this extremely difficult time!!
Truly,
Heather
happy 5 monthes maddie!! kellie,i have been reading blog since ur angel passed. you are very very strong.im sure ur angel is enjoying those balloones.everyday i read ur blogs,it brings me to tears. i have learned soo much from ur blogs.i now take pictures everyday of my kids.i even showed my lil girl maddie and we talk about u and her. you are in our prayers.
the peterson family in california.
You guys are amazing. Next month, my boys and I will join you for the 6 month. She has got to be the most beautiful angel ever! Thinking of you guys. Stay strong mama.
What a beautiful thing to do for your sweet baby girl. Happy 5 months Maddie.
sooo sweet, happy 5months maddie!!!
Oh, this post is just beautiful!!!!! I know she had a wonderful 5 month celebration up in Heaven!!!!
Kellie.....You, James and Maddie have touched so many lives. You and your family are such an inspiration. I think of you guys multiple times a day. What a wonderful way to celebrate Maddie's 5 months with pink balloons. I can just picture her up in heaven showing them off to all of her new friends. I love the picture of the Maddie tree that you shared with us as well.....I know that it will grow and be a beautiful reminder of y'alls precious angel. Love you girl!
Happy 5 months Maddie. May God hold you tight today dear. So touching pitures. The bowl on your hair made cry
I love the balloons! I know Maddie was happy to see them! Sending lots of Prayers your way!
Happy 5 month birthday sweet angel.
Sending hugs and parayers your way today ^^
Happy 5 months Miss Maddie!! Continue to Watch over mommy and daddy and give them the strength they need to get through each and every day!!
xoxo
Kelli @ loveoursimplelife.blogspot.com
I discover ypur blog just now...i'm italian so i'm sorry if my enghlish is not so good! I just want to say you that i'm so sad for what's happened to you. I'm a mother and my little girl is 7 months old, i can't imagine my life without her presence...so i think i can underestand what you're going through!!!I'm sure now maddie is in heaven and God prepare a great feast for Maddie. I would like to give you an hug...I'll pray for you!
Happy 5 Months beautiful Maddie!
Love and Prayers,
Ashley
Hello. I wanted to let you know that I stumbled across your blog via facebook. I believe ya'll are amazingly strong.
On March 13th, 2007 I gave birth to my full term princess who was born sleeping. On that day I became a part of a "club" that I never wanted to be a part of. We too, send balloons up to heaven on my daughters birthday every year...
I hope ya'll continue to get stronger and you can move forward with your life knowing that you have a beautiful princess looking down on you from above..
If you ever want to chat.. please feel free to contact me :)
Horatio Spafford wrote the song "It is well with my soul" after losing his daughter tragically. www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8_EfDqF7YI. I pray for your daily strength. And, I pray that one day too that you will be able to sing this song. Music is healing. Allow yourself time to heal. Another great song is With Hope by Steven Chapman Curtis (he lost his daughter as well and wrote this song for her) He also wrote the popular song Cinderella for her. This is the link to with hope: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcYRr1dk7wA&feature=related
We are all with you holding your hand.
With love,
Susan
Happy Birthday Miss Maddie!! I have been reading your blog everyday!! It takes steps for the grieving process and you have so many people behind you!
I really loved this post and of course it made me cry! Happy 5 month birthday to your sweet Maddie.:)
sending love and support
Happy 5 months beautiful Maddie! You and your family are so loved by strangers all over the world!
I'm another person you don't know but I keep up with your blog on google reader. Your posts remind me continually how fleeting life can be and to appreciate every minute with my baby even the trying ones. I'm a better mom because of you and Maddie.
beautiful post!!!=D
love your style
congratulations
xx
www.1sillaparamibolsoblog.com
Praying for you and your husband everyday for the strength to be strong, you have done such a great job on this page and Maddie would be so proud of her mommy. Is there an email I could reach you at I wanted to speak you about something but didn't want to leave a book on your comments page.
You should be so proud of Maddie, as she has touched more lives in 4 short months than most people do in years. I am struck by your story, as my daughter was born just days after Maddie, on October 27th. You and Maddie have taught me to enjoy every second - every smile, every sleepy yawn, and yes, every early-morning cry. I believe I will continue to think of Maddie as my daughter grows through the years. Bless your little angel and happy 5 months. I hope you enjoyed your beautiful balloons.
Thinking of you in Iowa!
I am so very sorry. I have been praying for you and your family. This is an article about grief from Mothering magazine by Robbie Davis-Floyd.
The art of grieving gracefully.
http://mothering.com/health/the-art-of-grieving-gracefully?page=0,1
I am deeply sorry for your loss, our children are exactly 6 months apart. My baby boy turned 11 mo old yesterday. I couldn't imagine what yesterday felt like and I know she was smiling waiting for her pretty pink balloons.
Jamie
keepingupwithefitzgeralds.blogspot.com
Happy 5 months Maddie! I hope you were able to get mommy and daddy's balloons and got to play with them in Heaven! Continuing to keep you and your family in my prayers! I hope as each day passes, you continue to grow strong!
Aw honey. My heart breaks for you.
Today my daughter turned 2 months old in Heaven.
We sent up balloons also, as we did at her funeral and every other milestone since she passed.
I like to believe that Leila can play with them and feel the love from her big brother.
He always "whispers" to them before we let them go.
I like to think she can hear the whispers.
Thinking of you.
Virginia
http://likemommade.blogspot.com
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