It's been almost 2 years and not a minute goes by that I don't miss her. The day she passed away apart of me died too. She was my everything..my little girl..my princess.
Jackson has helped regrown my heart tremendously. He is the reason we keep going on. He is also perfect. I swear he is his sisters twin. They act the same, look the same and I'm sure they know each other! A few nights ago Jackson was swinging and all of the sudden he starts smiling and laughing as loud as ever. He did this for a good 5 minutes. I know it was Maddie. She came to visit her brother and make him laugh.
Infant loss is real. I am the face of it. It's not anything anyone wants to talk about, but it's real. It really happens. I never in a million years thought it would happen to me..EVER. But, here I am living in this dream I cant wake up from. I hope blogging and telling our story can help save lives and spread awareness. Thank you all for sticking by my side through the sad time and the happy times.
I want to share some steps you can take to reduce the risk of SIDS (remember you can not TOTALLY prevent SIDS. We were doing all of these and still lost Maddie):
1. Back to sleep: Infants should be placed for sleep in a supine position (wholly on the back) for every sleep. Side sleeping is not as safe as supine sleeping and is not advised.
NOTE:2. Use a firm sleep surface: Soft materials or objects such as pillows, quilts, comforters, or sheepskins should not be placed under a sleeping infant. A firm crib mattress, covered by a sheet, is the recommended sleeping surface.
The side position has in general been considered less effective than supine because it is less stable, and some infants rolling from the side will end up sleeping prone. The only specific and objective data in this regard was reported at the June International Conference by Peter Fleming (Avon, UK). He reported that the relative risk of SIDS when sleeping on the side is double the risk of SIDS when sleeping supine. We do not currently have any data on this question in the U.S.; nevertheless, I am in full agreement that we should recommend only the supine position for sleeping. That is, although side appears to be much better than prone, it is not as effective as supine sleeping. I hope this is helpful.
Carl E. Hunt, M.D.
Toledo/Washington D.C.
3. Keep soft objects and loose bedding out of the crib: Soft objects such as pillows, quilts, comforters, sheepskins, stuffed toys, and other soft objects should be kept out of an infant’s sleeping environment. Another strategy is to use sleep clothing with no other covering over the infant or infant sleep sacks that are designed to keep the infant warm without the possible hazard of head covering.
4. Do not smoke during pregnancy: Maternal smoking during pregnancy has emerged as a major risk factor in almost every epidemiologic study of SIDS. Smoke in the infant’s environment after birth has emerged as a separate risk factor in a few studies, although separating this variable from maternal smoking before birth is problematic. Avoiding an infant’s exposure to second- hand smoke is advisable for numerous reasons in addition to SIDS risk.
5. A separate but proximate sleeping environment is recommended: The risk of SIDS has been shown to be reduced when the infant sleeps in the same room as the mother. A crib, bassinet, or cradle that conforms to the safety standards of the Consumer Product Safety Commission and ASTM (formerly the American Society for Testing and Materials) is recommended. “Co-sleepers” (infant beds that attach to the mother’s bed) provide easy access for the mother to the infant, especially for breastfeeding, but safety standards for these devices have not yet been established by the Consumer Product Safety Commission. Although bed-sharing rates are increasing in the United States for a number of reasons, including facilitation of breastfeeding, the task force concludes that the evidence is growing that bed sharing, as practiced in the United States and other Western countries, is more hazardous than the infant sleeping on a separate sleep surface and, therefore, recommends that infants not bed share during sleep. Infants may be brought into bed for nursing or comforting but should be returned to their own crib or bassinet when the parent is ready to return to sleep. The infant should not be brought into bed when the parent is excessively tired or using medications or substances that could impair his or her alertness. The task force recommends that the infant’s crib or bassinet be placed in the parents’ bedroom, which, when placed close to their bed, will allow for more convenient breastfeeding and contact. Infants should not bed share with other children. Because it is very dangerous to sleep with an infant on a couch or armchair, no one should sleep with an infant on these surfaces.
6. Consider offering a pacifier at nap time and bedtime: Although the mechanism is not known, the reduced risk of SIDS associated with pacifier use during sleep is compelling, and the evidence that pacifier use inhibits breastfeeding or causes later dental complications is not. Until evidence dictates otherwise, the task force recommends use of a pacifier throughout the first year of life according to the following procedures:
• The pacifier should be used when placing the infant down for sleep and not be reinserted once the infant falls asleep. If the infant refuses the pacifier, he or she should not be forced to take it.7. Avoid overheating: The infant should be lightly clothed for sleep, and the bedroom temperature should be kept comfortable for a lightly clothed adult. Overbundling should be avoided, and the infant should not feel hot to the touch.
• Pacifiers should not be coated in any sweet solution.
• Pacifiers should be cleaned often and replaced regularly.
• For breastfed infants, delay pacifier introduction until 1 month of age to ensure that breastfeeding is firmly established.
Taken from Reduce SIDS
Tonight at 7pm (in all time zones) please light a candle for Maddie. Keep it burning for 1 hour so we can have a continuous wave of light. If you would like to post a picture of your candle head on over to our Facebook page. I'd love to see them! (Remembering our babies).
