After Maddie was born I never ordered her birth certificate. I just thought they sent you one. I filled out all that paper work at the hospital. No one told me I had to go on line and order one. I still have the paper work sitting on her dresser. I was going to get on line and do it, because I want one! A friend of mine (who is an angel mommy) did the same thing as me..forgot to order it and ordered hers after her daughter passed away. When she got it, it has DECEASED stamped over her beautiful birth certificate. This makes me sad. When she told me I wanted to punch someone. The one thing I wanted to remind me that Maddie was very much a part of this world will have the words deceased stamped all over it...let me throw up now!!! I know they do that so some sicko doesn't try and steal her identity. But, I'm her freaking mom. I want it to cherish, to remember and to heal. This hurts..bad! I don't know what to do. I'm so torn. I want her birth certificate but I don't want that stamp on it! I don't know what to do. I wish I could talk to someone and beg them not to stamp it. I would pay extra just to not have that stamp... but that isnt going to happen because my daughter is "deceased". What a world we live in.
23 comments:
Hugs Kellie - I would hate that stamp. Can you go in person and plead with them? Thinking of you guys.
Thinking of you and your sweet Maddie tonight. Praying that you find the strength that only our Lord can provide.
Awe I'm so sorry. When my son was born he died at birth, so all I was ever able to have was a death certificate. I wasn't even given the option of getting a birth certificate. Please go there and ask them if it's possible to get one without the stamp. You can prove you are her mommy and you deserve her birth certificate. I know you don't know me, but I pray for you a lot and check on you often thru your blog.
In Christ,
Nicole
Kellie If you go to the Town Hall in the town where SHE WAS BORN, NOT order NOT call..go over in person and they will give you a copy WITHOUT the stamp I PROMISE ..)
Oh my goodness! I had no idea that they did that! How horrible!! I really hope that you are able to get her birth certificate without that stamp. She deserves one and you do too!!! How did you order the b.c.? What company did you go through? Aren't there multiple places that you can order them from?
Oh Kellie, I hope you are able to do what the last person commented and can get the certificate without the stamp! I'll be praying!
Kellie, I am so sorry about the headstone not being there, and the sadness you're facing for the birth certificate. I pray you and James will have one without the stamping all over it, and can cherish a very big reminder of your beautiful daughter's life. You guys deserve the best, and God will take care of you both. Have a great weekend! :)
Thinking of you guys daily, and wishing so badly that you didn't have to live in this awful nightmare. I was looking at your pictures of Maddie today again - she is just such a beautiful, lovely girl. My heart aches for you and your husband. :( I hope you can get that wonderful UN-stamped birth certificate to commemorate her wonderful existence - you so deserve that!
Check with your hospital. They my be able to get you one without the stamp. The other thing is many hospitals will issue a "birth certificate" it's not the legal document but it's a nice little certificate with all the info on it.
:( I would definitely march down to the headstone office or whatever and DEMAND that the headstone be placed this week. After all you guys have lost and been through you now have to deal with that? Nope. That's ridiculous. I hope Rachel's advice about the bc works for you!!! Hugs.
Our son was born asleep so we did not receive a birth certificate. I went online and found a beautiful one. If you can't get one from the office that issues them you might go that route. I may still have the info on where I ordered it. If you aren't able to get one, please send me an email and I will see if I can find it.
Kellie,
I agree with the other ladies. Go in PERSON. If not, you are sooo crafty I bet you could MAKE your daughter a BEAUTIFUL birth certificate! Or like one lady said, see if there is a company online that can make one for you. STAY STRONG.
Lots of love from GA oxoxo
That is horrible!!! I would for sure call and ask them if they would maybe send you an original with out that stamp!!!! I'm sorry :(
I'm so sorry Kellie... :( I wouldn't want that memory either. Maybe If you went in like Staceroo suggested, maybe they could print two?? One with the official stamp, and one just for you to keep with her special things? Thinking of you and sneding and love and positive thoughts your way. And OhMyGoodness. They need to be far more professional and compassionate about maddie's marker. :( I would be all over them!
So sorry Kellie, I am also an Angelmommy. Our first little boy passed away shortly after birth from prematurity. I never thought I would be able to move on, now that we have 2 other children he is still our first baby and very much a part of our lives. We visit him at his resting place and take him balloons and cakes on his birthday and a little christmas tree for the holiday. My 4 year old very much knows of his big brother Dalton and he is in heaven. You will find strength not saying it will be soon but you will find it I promise. We recieved Dalton's birth certificate and it did not have that horrible stamp on it thankfully, it is nice to look at. I never got a 'death' certificate either and I don't ever want one. I hope you can get her birth certificate and it does not have any additional markings on it. I know at our county treasurers office we can go and wait for one, maybe you could do that too and ask that they not put the stamp on it if it is common that they usually do? Maybe if you are right there waiting for it you can stop them from doing that. Huge from one angelmommy to another :)
Amber
Another thing you could do, if they won't budge is to scan it onto your computer and then Photoshop the stamp out! If it comes to that and you need help, let me know. I'd be happy to do it for you :) I've never commented before, but I have a daughter that is just a few weeks older than Maddie, and I've been reading for a while. Violet and I are rooting for you.
Do they do a "commemorative birth certificate?" Something fancier? I wonder if that would have the stamp on it...?
Hi Kellie,
I recently also lost my son to SIDS. His name is Maxton. I was so busy while he was here that I didn't get around to ordering his birth certificate either. I finally ordered it about a month ago and was very hurt when it came back stamped with "Infant Death" in big red letters. All I wanted was a nice copy to put in his baby book. I have debated about calling the State to see if they would issue a "good" copy but I'm a bit nervous they will think I'm crazy. So if you find out how to go about getting a good copy I would be very interested in knowing how.
Thanks,
Kelci B.
I never went online and ordered it ... they just sent it so don't be hard on yourself. I am proud you went out with your mom even though the head stone was not there... you were there!!! Maddie wanted to make it easier on your self. I think she really wants you to vist her and tell her about your day or what is on your mind!!
((hugs)) and I want you to know that not ever state stapes that on the birth cert, my state dose not do that, how ever on my DD's death Cert, it states the reason for her death was due to "mother's incompetant body." How's that for the world to know that your daughter died because her mother has an incompatatant body and cant make it to term.. Get ther birth cert it will help with the healing, I promise.
There is an organization that I've heard of that is trying to change this. I can't remember if it varies state to state, but our best friend took their son off life support after five days and were unable to get his birth certificate without 'deceased' bc of fear of someone stealing his identity (sick to even think of). I will check with her to find out any info for you. Hugs to you and your maddie.
I came across this site and thought of you..
http://wingsofaddie.blogspot.com/
I love my baby gretchen at 10hr after birth. When I got her bc I made a pink foot and put over the word deceased on her bc.
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