When I see other babies I smile and think of my precious Maddie. I must admit. I am proud of myself, I have come a LONG way. I used to FREAK out when I saw another babies. But today I got chocked up. I was at a used book store looking for easy readers for my classroom (which if you have any VERY easy level A/1, B/2 readers I would love them!!) and there was a little girl she was "talking" (mumbling), singing and reading books. When I saw her I did the same thing I usually do..think Aww she is cute. Then it hit me. I should be doing that with Maddie. She should be here reading books with me! I should be at this store buying books for her! Then I got sad, mad and frustrated! I couldn't stay in that store for very long. I couldn't hear that little girl so happy with her mommy when I was screaming inside. I quickly found the books (not many) that I was looking for and left!
I miss her so much! I cried on the way home and told Maddie I just want to see her again. I pray that I see her in my dreams tonight. I pray that she can hear me when I am talking to her.
I guess today is just one of those days. I will make it through but its hard.
Maddiebug I miss you so much Princess. Come visit me tonight!!
Maddiebug I miss you so much Princess. Come visit me tonight!!
11 comments:
Oh Kellie, this broke my heart. I wish so much that you were reading books with your sweet Maddie. =(
I'm so sorry that today was a hard one. I had a hard one yesterday. They are the worst. Praying for you and hoping you will see her in your dreams tonight. <3
Much Love,
Natalie
I hope you have the sweetest dreams ever of your little Maddiebug! Peace to you Precious Lady!
I have a friend who lost a son a litle over a year ago and I found this on her page. I loved this and thought it would give you a little comfort.
I thought of you and closed my eyes,
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother,
And I know I heard him say:
A mother has a baby,
This we know is true.
But, God, can you be a mother,
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can he replied,
With confidence in his voice.
I give many women babies,
When they leave is not thier choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But theres no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared his throat,
And then I saw a tear.
I wish that I could show you,
What your child is doing today,
If you could see your child smile,
With other children who say:
We go to earth and learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My mommy set me free.
I miss my mommy oh so much,
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are Ok.
Your babies are here in My home,
They'll be at heavens gate for you.
So now you see what makes a mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of,
Right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother,
until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day,
And you'll know that you're the best one!
I have a friend who lost a son and came across this and wanted to share with you. I thought it would give you a little comfort.
I thought of you and closed my eyes,
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother,
And I know I heard him say:
A mother has a baby,
This we know is true.
But, God, can you be a mother,
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can he replied,
With confidence in his voice.
I give many women babies,
When they leave is not thier choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But theres no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared his throat,
And then I saw a tear.
I wish that I could show you,
What your child is doing today,
If you could see your child smile,
With other children who say:
We go to earth and learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My mommy set me free.
I miss my mommy oh so much,
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are Ok.
Your babies are here in My home,
They'll be at heavens gate for you.
So now you see what makes a mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of,
Right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother,
until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day,
And you'll know that you're the best one!
I hope this gives you comfort. I have a friend who lost a son a little over a year ago and found this on her page.
I thought of you and closed my eyes,
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother,
And I know I heard him say:
A mother has a baby,
This we know is true.
But, God, can you be a mother,
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can he replied,
With confidence in his voice.
I give many women babies,
When they leave is not thier choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But theres no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared his throat,
And then I saw a tear.
I wish that I could show you,
What your child is doing today,
If you could see your child smile,
With other children who say:
We go to earth and learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My mommy set me free.
I miss my mommy oh so much,
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are Ok.
Your babies are here in My home,
They'll be at heavens gate for you.
So now you see what makes a mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of,
Right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother,
until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day,
And you'll know that you're the best one!
It is incredibly hard to see things that we are missing out on. You are doing so well...I remember I couldn't even look at a baby for awhile and now I can but I still have moments as well where it is harder for me. Thinking of you and hoping your little bug comes and visits you tonight!!
Hugs from Georgia Kellie! We pray for you daily.
praying that maddie will come visit you in your dreams tonight!!! I know words cannot make anything better but I hope tomorrow is a better day.
This breaks my heart, Kellie. I am hoping Maddie comes to visit you in your dreams tonight. I am thinking of you. Hugs!!!
I read this the other day and wanted to share it with you....
"People cry not because their weak, but because they've been strong for too long."
YOU are amazingly strong.
Always praying for you and James.
I hope that Maddie visited you last night! And that you still feel her today. I found this poem and just wanted to share.
Life is so precious,
And each day is a gift.
So enjoy every minute,
As it were your last to live.
Cherish your loved ones,
Hug them tight,
Share with them your heart,
And your time.
Nothing is forever,
And life goes so fast,
Each minute that passes,
Is one you can’t get back.
When troubles arrive,
And knock you off your feet,
Stand up and smile,
And remember life is too sweet.
Every morning when you wake,
Decide right from the start,
That “Today will be a good day”
And let it all in with an open heart.
Kellie, I am here for you. I pray that today you feel peace and comfort and that Maddie comes for another visit tonight.
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