As you all know tragically a few days ago Me and my wife Kellie lost our sweet baby girl Madison. Words can not describe the hurt, anger, guilt, pain, frustration, confusion, one goes through when something like this happens. My wife Kellie told me that posting on here made here feel just a little bit better. As I type this, my fingers are shaking.
I have never even been to a funeral before and to have to go to my Daughters was horrible. The only thing I knew about funerals was from what I saw on Movies or TV shows. My wife literally carried me through the process. I could not have made it without her. I always thought that my wife was a little emotional like most women, but when I needed her to pick me up off the ground she was there.
I realized that Madison was teaching me that my wife is way more important than I ever imagined. She is 100% my soul mate. I have not wanted to leave her for a second since I got that phone call that our daughter stopped breathing. Even as I type this and my wonderful wife sleeps in bed...I want to be next to her telling her how much she means to me.
Meeting Kellie, falling madly in love, and having Madison was the best thing to ever happen to me. So everyone who has sent us pics of their kids with bows I want to personally thank you. We love all of them and can not believe how many lives our little angel has touched. I do not know if I will ever blog again but it feels good knowing that this "tough guy" let everyone know how lucky he really was for 4 short months.
For Kellie and Madison with so much Love!!!
~James Staats
123 comments:
Proud of you for blogging, Daddy aka Tough Guy :-)
There will be days when you'll have to carry Kellie and there will be days when she will carry you. Both of you are blessed to have each other. Rest on the pillow of the Sovereignty of God. Praying with you guys!
James you seem like a very wonderful and lucky man. The days may look bleak right now but it will get just a tiny bit better everyday. Just be there for each other and you will be able to make it day by day. Love each other and never forget!
What a post! Hold each other close and just float through life. The water will calm down eventually.
I'm sure that there will be days when one of you is stronger than the other. That you will need to carry her along. I haven't been able to stop thinking of your family since I read your story, and I don't even know you! If I could I would give you and Kellie the biggest hug I could possibly give you. Take care of each other.
how vert sweet James. You too have been very strong.
How very sweet! I'm sure its good for Kellie to hear right now that she carried you along the way, and that you still need her. Thank you for sharing such raw emotion with all of us, I'm sure it wasn't easy!
Sending prayers your way!
Continue to seek the Lord. He brought u to this and He will get you through it. We don't know why He does things but the are all for a reason. God bless your aching souls-may He comfort and soothe them. So very sorry. Unimaginable.
That was beatufil James! Kellie is so lucky to have you and Maddie was lucky to get to call you her Dad for a few short months. I am praying for you and your family! You guys have really touched our hearts and we are thinking about you daily!
All i can is WOW - I just can't imagine going through what you guys are...it sure makes us love and appreciate our children every day...like you, my daughter's name is Madyson...Maddy for short
I read your wife's blog for the first time yesterday, and sobbed for a very long time for both of you. I have a perfect 9 month old boy and even the thought of him getting sick is heartbreaking. It is absolutely impossible to imagine what you are going through. I knew the service was yesterday and came on here this morning. Read the first two lines of Kellie's post, and had to close it. I am just so heartbroken and depressed for you both. I realized that you CAN'T just close the browser and try to forget about this tragedy, so even though you are complete strangers, it's ignorant of me to do the same. It took a while to read both of your blogs, paragraph by paragraph, taking breaks to catch my breath in between. It sounds like you have a very solid marriage and that will get both of you through this. You are blessed with that, and your wife is blessed to have a supportive husband like you. I'm sure a lot of us question whether or not our marriages would survive such a loss. While life has thrown you this unbelievably unfair curveball, you're lucky to have one another.
Beautiful post. Praying for you guys!
Praying for you BOTH. I cannot imagine the pain you feel. I have 2 little girls, and they are both "daddy's girls"! Sometimes it makes me want a boy just so I can have a kiddo on "my side"! LOL! The relationship between a daddy and his little girl is so very, very special. Maddie was lucky to have you as her daddy- I know in my heart that she is smiling in heaven for you, and telling Jesus about all the wonderful times she had with her daddy. We are praying for you and your family. My heart aches for you. The cliche thing to say is that "it all happens for a reason". That doesn't change the reality. And the reality sucks. Big time. But know that there are thousands of prayers going up for you every day, and the same God who holds Maddie in his hand, is holding you, too, and He will carry you through this.
I am on TMP and my husband and I have been reading Kellie's posts and hurting for you both since you lost your sweet angel. Keep holding on to each other and know that sweet Madison will continue to touch the lives of those who never knew her but loved her so much.
That was an amazing post.....I can't even imagine the pain Yall are feeling right now, but you guys are in my prayers. I don't know yall and you guys have touched my heart in many ways. There are many wonderful things in store for you and you're wife. You have such a wonderful thing and she will always be with you.
Beautifully written and just continue being there to carry each other through this time and I’ll be praying for y’all!!!
James, I just want to let you know that in TX in a very small dot on the map someone is thinking of you all and praying for you and lifting you all up. I didn't see this blog until yesterday afternoon so I was not able to send my children off into the day with their bows. When they got home, my youngest daughter was getting ready for church and when she presented herslf to me to see the ensemble she put together, she had a bow on! Before I could even tell her about Maddie, she beat me to it. I sat her down and told her about y'all and told her about the bow being in Maddie's honor, she said "I love that name, it's so pretty." She is only 7 but is very precious in her walk with God, she wanted me to let you know that she will be praying for you all too.
In love and Prayer, Gwen (((((Hugs))))))
You both have been amazingly blessed to have found each other, and to have brought Maddie into this world, even if only for a short while. You are both amazing people and I am so glad you have each other to lean on during this healing processs. God bless you both!
So beautiful! It takes a brave man to admit a woman is his rock! I am praying for you guys always. I hope you will enjoy the little For Maddie bow I am sending in the mail. I am honored to make it. Even more honored for my daughters to wear theirs. Thank you for sharing this I know it wasn't easy.
Lots of Love and prayers
Angela
Dear James,
It was really wonderful to read your blog today, I shared this story on Facebook as a friend of mine posted it! I truly didn't know the power of Facebook until now! your maddie has touched thousands of people! I can only hope you have a little comfort knowing that there are hundreds of people praying, and crying with you! (and of course wearing bows) we are all thinking about y'all and sending as much strength as we can!
God Bless
Jennifer in Cypress
While I don't know you or Kellie, I have been so touched by this story...YOUR story. Heartbroken, beyond sad.
Sometimes in tragedy the men are "forgotten" because we as women are brought up to share emotions...all of them. (I laughed through tears as you said she was a little emotional like all women.:) )
I'm glad you decided to write and I'm glad that you and Kellie have EACH OTHER.
There are many families all over holding onto their babies just a little bit tighter as we share in your journey...wishing you didn't have to go through it.
All the best to you and Kellie...hold fast and tight to each other.
xoxox
So Proud of you ... takes alot of love to say what you just have... your family will be on my familys thoughts and prayers for many years, everytime I put a bow in my daughters hair I will think of Maddie, in fact, after reading about everything the other day it inspired me to make MORE MORE MROE bows :) My daughter now has 15 more bows than she did a week ago :)
Be there for each passing day, cherish the moments you have, God will carry you guys through this difficult time
in my thoughts and prayers <3
James.....I'm sure Kellie feels the same exact way about you! You two are blessed to have each other! You two are so incredibly strong! Y'all will continue to be in my prayers. Big hugs to you both!
I am so sorry for what you are going through and I will continue to pray for you and your wife. As she has carried you, you will carry her and you will need to continue to be each others rock.
James--you and i have never met. Kellie and I were in the same sorority in college, but I graduated before she even got to SHSU. I met her when I would come back to events as an alum. I was so excited when she found you and then had baby Madison. I have followed it all online through her blog and facebook. I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through. You have not left my thoughts since I heard this tragic news. Not only do you have a wonderful wife that carried you through this experience, but she has a wonderful husband who has been by her side for so much. You are lucky to have each other! :)
So very tragic to lose your beautiful baby. But sometimes in the wake of our greatest tragedies, MIRACLES can shine through. Baby Maddie is touching hearts. All across the country people are stopping to post, send pics, offer a prayer, all to honor your family and your precious baby daughter. I pray peace will continue to touch your hearts. May both you and your wife continue to see miracles unfold each day.
I am 9 months pregnant and hope to never have to feel the pain of losing a child. You are in my prayers.
Thank you for sharing your heart. You and Kellie have a long journey in front of you, supporting each other is what will get you through. May God watch over you giving you comfort and strength along the way.
You and Kellie are in my thoughts and prayers. ((HUGS))
Even "tough guys" need someone to lean on every once in a while! These are the little ways that Maddie will always help you through life. She has not only touched your lives, but now she has touched hundreds of lives. This is what angels do, they help carry you through life! :)
James, that is so sweet! I know it may not seem like it right now, but you and Kellie are two very lucky people. You know how to love unconditionally and have been loved the same way by your sweet Madison...there will be brighter days soon and you will all feel that strong love forever in your hearts. I know today it may feel like an end to a very difficult but special time for your family, but each day is a new beginning, time will heal you both and the memories of your sweet angel will continue to bring smiles and joy to you and Kellie always. You are now on the road to recovery...be strong and know that you are not alone.
YOU BOTH HAVE SUCH GREAT COURAGE!! I THINK ITS GREAT THAT YOU CAN EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS AS WELL... SOMETIMES ITS GOOD TO GET THEM OUT... THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS... MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOUR SWEET LIL FAMILY
I found yours and Kelley's story yesterday through Facebook. I hardly ever put my girls in bows ( they are a little too tomboyish for them) but both of them had on their biggest bows in memory of your Maddy. When I read Kelley's blog, my heart broke for your family and the pain that you are going through. I can't even imagine feeling the way you are feeling at the moment. I don't know you but as I write this, there are tears streaming down my face. I can honestly tell you that the loss of Maddy has been felt by thousands of people who didn't even know her. I hope that everything gets better for you and your wife in the coming months and years. Love each other and remember God can get you through this. Praying for you and yours.
Hi, I just heard of you guys story through a friend posting on facebook to pray. I cannot imagine what you are going through.
I wanted to let you know that friends of mine were in the same place you are a little over a year ago. The mom, Lindsey, has a blog that she's touched hundreds of lives through as she wrote about their loss of sweet baby Ayden. Here is the link: http://thejonesfamily52009.blogspot.com/2008/09/aydens-story.html
I hope that it brings you some comfort as you can reach out and be supported by others who have been where you are. I know it doesn't bring Maddie back as you'd want but support of others who've been there seems to have helped Ayden's parents so much, in addition to leaning on God who is there for us through thick and then.
Continuing to pray for your family. God bless you!
What an encouragement you two are to each other. Keep taking care of one another.
This almost exact thing happened to my sister and brother in law a little over a year ago. (You can read a little about it here... http://frugalchristianliving.wordpress.com/2010/12/29/its-december-29th-its-mylies-day/ )
The only difference was, they did get to hold her in the hospital. (They did the autopsy/investigation after.)
Cling to the Lord, cling to each other. Your life has taken a different course than expected, but you will keep Maddie alive in a different way, and from someone who is ahead of you on this journey....you WILL make it.
Thanks to Jesus Christ we have a HOPE and a CERTAINTY that we will be reunited!!
Love,
Mylie's Aunt Missy
James,
Thank you for sharing your feelings about your wife and daughter. God will carry you all through this. Many people are praying for you, rest in Him and let the wave of emotions roll over you. Your sweet child is in heaven with Jesus, you can trust in Him to take very good care of her.
Praying and praying for you James, that you will feel the love of Jesus and trust Him.
God bless,
<><
sending your family all of my love. hoping that you both continue to build a stronger relationship. after having to deal with the death of our son to SIDS, my hubby and i have become much closer too. he is the one i have leaned on during this horrific time in our lives. again, i'm so sorry that you both have to deal with this, and have had to say goodbye to your perfect Madison.
Know this.....God is with you! We are praying for you, wearing bows, spreading the message, and waiting for God's healing hand on your hearts. You are blessed with Kellie and with the power of pray. You are one amazing family that will stay united in love and in prayer!
James and Kellie your strength is amazing! Kellie was so right when she said" God hand picked the two of you to be Maddie's parents. I have a poem that I would like to share with the two of you, and I pray it will help bring you comfort.
A Butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam, and for a brief moment, it's beauty belongs to our world...But then it flies on again, and though we wish it could have stayed, we feel so lucky to have seen it.
My continued prayers for strength, comfort, and peace.
Beautiful post. You are an amazing family. Hugs to you all.
I feel for you both so much. My husband and I lost our baby, Braden in June, and my husband was my strength. The days surrounding his funeral, I was in a daze. There will be days when you will have to lean on her, and days she will have to lean on you. Don't ever lose sight of that love. People grieve differently and that has caused some problems between me and my husband, as people said it might. I'm much more emotional and still have really bad days. I felt this urge to do so many things in Braden's memory. The first thing I did was get a little baby ring with his birthstone and wore it on a chain. It made me feel closer to him. I made a garden for him in the backyard to put all the flowers and statues from the funeral. I have bought so many flowers and things to decorate his garden and his grave. My husband didn't see the point in all of this and would get very frustrated with me. But this is how I cope. He is trying to move on and I am still holding on. Just remember you will both cope in different ways and to always respect what the other has to do to handle all of this. I was telling my husband about your Maddie last night and we thought so much about Braden and just cried together. Please know you are in both of our hearts and prayers.
Very proud of you for blogging, Dad!!! Those were such sweet, tender & honest words. Thank you for sharing & I hope that it brought you some peace to blog. I feel connected to the two of you now & I enjoyed you sharing also, though I cried. Im praying for you both. Hold tightly to each other & let nothing tear you apart, ever.
With love & prayers...God Bless you both!
James that was a beautiful post. It brought me to tears.
I have always thought it amazing just how close you can feel to people you have never met before simply by chatting each day online. Kellie is very lucky to have such a wonderful husband and Maddie was lucky to have a wonderful father. You and your family have been in my prayers from the beginning and I will definitely miss seeing all the pics your wife would put up on TMP (we were in the same birth-month club)
Kellie will be your rock when you need it most and you will be hers when she needs it the most. The road from here will be very hard but if you two continue to support, love and carry each other through you two will make it to easier times. Your family has touched so many lives and have reminded us what is truly important in life. I will be praying for you and your family for many weeks to come.
James,
Isn't it weird to throw all your emotions out to a world of people that don't know you? You don't know us but we FEEL and PRAY for you. I read Kellie's blog for the first time yesterday, immediately put bows in my girls hair and sent you a picture. I said this to Kellie yesterday and I will tell you too....The ER nurses that took care of your angel LOVED HER! I am an ER nurse and we take a lot on our shoulders..blame and guilt...but with every child we take care of, we truly love. I have not stopped thinking about your family since yesterday. I pray for you and your family...for strength and for comfort in this hard time!!
I don't know you personally, but a friend sent me a link to your blog. As i read through the last couple of posts yesterday I cried like a baby. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I have a six month old. I cannot imagine. We are all praying for you guys. God will get you through this tragic time in your life.
Another TMP member here. I just wanted to let you know that you have a whole lot of people praying for you and your wife. Maddie touched so many lives, more than she'll ever know. May she always be remembered as a beautiful angel. My heart goes out to you guys in this time of difficulty. ♥
I have a pic of my daughter wearing a bow in honor of Maddie so please let us know if you would like them e-mailed to a certain address? It is posted to the "Bows for Maddie" wall as well.
Hi James~ you and your wife Kellie and beautiful little angel Maddie have touched my life in so many ways. I just started reading Kellie's blog yesterday after a friend posted a link on facebook and I could barely read anymore beyond my tears. I am a mother of 3 and could not imagine the pain of what you all are having to go through. You both seem to be amazingly strong and I just know you will find peace and comfort in each other. Be there for each other and know that your sweet angel is looking down on her amazing parents everyday! I wish I knew you both personally and could just wrap you both in my arms and give you the biggest hug!! You all are forever in my hearts and prayers.
I read through your blog, and honestly it brought me to tears. What you're going through is one of my greatest fears. I have three children and have had a friend recently lose a baby, and I don't know how I'd get through it. But then I read this post, this post didn't make me cry it made me smile. I smiled because in a time where most couples split because they can't handle it you two have seemed to come together, gotten closer. And right now you both need that. I know that neither of you will ever go back to how you were before this happened but my wish for you both is that you come out of this stronger and closer.
God Bless you both.
PS: She was beautiful.
This is awesome! My thoughts and prayers are with you and Kellie as well as your family.
Your daughter was so lucky to have you both as her parents. The strength, courage and love you both show is amazing during such a difficult time. My daughter is 14 months and at an age where she doesn't like to keep a bow in her hair, but yesterday she managed to keep one in all day. She wore it for a reason and that was to honor your beautiful daughter!
Thoughts and prayers to your family.
Lots of people are holding you all in their hearts and in their prayers. Here is a link to a bunch of pictures of Little ones wearing bows for your beautiful princess.. http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=188754961165278¬if_t=event_wall#wall_posts
You both are so blessed to have each other. God picked wonderful people to be parents to your sweet Maddie. She is now your angel and looking over both of you. Your story has touched my heart, I don't know you but I haven't been able to stop thinking or praying for your family. The road ahead is going to be rough, but both have each other and will make it through. God bless - HUGS!
Very touching...writing and talking about Maddie will help you and your wife on the road ahead. I simply cannot imagine what the two of you have been through-but I do know your Angel is watching over you both. Stay Strong and hold on to eachother-your ANGEL will guide you and tell you- Daddy and Mommy-I am okay <3
You are an awesome husband and even tho your daughter has passed she knows that also she loves you guys and that your guys were the best parents for her you guys were picked because god new that you could do it together as a family your an awesome husband and she is lucky to have youu
I don't have a daughter. At least a human being daughter. I thought about sending you a picture of my dachshund with a bow on her head but I don't have a bow either. So, instead of a picture, I'm just letting you know with words that I am praying for you and your wife. Like many others have said, hold onto each other tight and don't let go. She will carry you and you will carry her.
-Mindy in Texas
James,
Maddie's Story has touched my heart so much that I cry everytime I read a post about this! Kellie is an amazing, girl, wife, mommy and her strength through all of this is amazing! I don't know her personally but I feel so touched by this story! Yesterday I found the biggest bow my Kelcee had and I clipped it on her headband and she wore it all day and evening! Everytime I looked at that gimongous bow I thought of Maddie, Kellie, you and your family! I cried tears for ya'll and we haven't even met, I prayed throughout the other day, yesterday and today!
You seem like an amazing husband, and daddy and I just know you doing this post will mean the world to your wife! No worries it didn't take away your man card, LOL, my hubs thinks when I blog about him it does, haha I think it's a guy thing, anyways it shows how amazing you are and I am so glad that so many people participated and showed so much love for sweet Maddie, she has touched the lives of many in 4 short mths and she will for many many years to come!
Praying GOD wraps his arms around ya'll extra tight!
Summer
Every post leaves me crying, but this one leaves me with mixed tears. My heart is broken for you both and what you are having to go through, but I'm so happy that you have each other and that this is bringing you closer together rather than tearing you apart. Praying for you always.
You and Kellie are both incredibly strong people. I truly admire your strength. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you family since I read Kellie's blog three days ago. Your Maddie is truly an angel who has touched so many lives. So many parents out there are squeezing their babies a little tighter after hearing about this tragedy. I know I haven't been able to put my three month old down since! I'm praying for you guys every day.
Hey there Tough Guy...
You are both blessed to have each other and know an angel is looking over both of you! I am and will continue to pray for you all, God will give you strengh...
Your family's grace and faith is inspiring. My prayers are with you in this unimaginable time.
Its amazing how the most horrible things in our lives can make us realize how blessed we really are. Hold each other close, don't let go. Maddie was the angel to open yours and everyone elses eyes around you to how blessed we truly are.
You and your wife are truly amazing. It's no wonder God hand picked you to be Maddie's parents! Always praying!
To both of you, prayers of strength, peace and acceptance even without answers. I can't begin and won't even try to pretend what you must be going through. All I know is that together with each other, you can make it through this long healing process. James what a huge step to post that and hope you were able to find some sort of comfort. Just like in the Bible, when Moses got tired Aaron was there to help hold up his arms so they could keep winning the battle. When you and Kellie get tired, there are people that are willing to help carry you through the tough days when you just don't have the strength. Lean on those people, that is what loved ones are there for. I don't know you, but I have shared your story and we have a group of people in TX praying for you!!!
The Moore family is thinking of you! It's great to hear you two have such a great support system in eachother.
I blogged about Madison yesterday to share your story. Thank you for reminding me to never take one day for granted.
Should you care to take a peek at it.
http://ourlife-sd.blogspot.com/
De-lurking to say how moved I was to read this post.
The sudden and tragic loss of your beautiful daughter is gut wrenching and my heart and prayers have gone out to you.
To know that you have each other is one of life's great gifts.
James and Kelli my prayers are with you. I know myself how hard it is to have to lay your baby to rest. My son was 2 months old. And it is going to be rough, but stay strong for eachother. And know she will always be with you! Once again my faimly and I are praying for you!
You guys are absolutely amazing. I have a little girl and i am sitting here bawling over your blogs. I can't imagine the pain and hurt you guys are going through. You both have so much support form each other. family and people you don't even know..I know I am going to continue to keep you in my prayers as well as read your blogs. Words can't even express how much sympathy i have for you guys. I wish there was someway i could help but i know there is not other then to pray for you both. I am so sorry you guys have to go through this:(
Ericka
It's really wonderful for you to come by to drop your thoughts with us. We really appreciate that. My heart goes out to you and your wonderful wife. I'm sure Madison is in such a beautiful place looking at you with a smile on her face. I pray for strength and joy for your family. May God strengthen you and give you His joy always. I'm sure you both will do great.
It broke my heart when I first read about your daughter. I know that God does things for a reason and that your daughter will be watching over you and your wife. It is amazing how strong your family seems and I cannot imagine what you all are going through. Thank you for sharing, because it really makes you realize that every day is a blessing and that you should not take life for granted. My family will continue to pray for you and your family during this difficult time.
God Bless You and Your family! I stumbled across your blog, through a friends facebook page, and I have been deeply saddened and touched while reading through it! I have prayed for your family numerous times, and will continue to do so; as I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling! I am praying for a comfort that only God can give you! I pray that through this storm you will be blessed! May God in Heaven bless your family!
Our prayers and thoughts are with you and your family today and everyday! Keep on loving your Wife and precious Angel and heal. God Bless!
Another TMPer here. I have no words, James. What you are experiencing is something no one should have to and my heart breaks for you and Kellie. There will be days when you will have to pick Kellie up and carry her and vice versa. You have a very strong relationship and are wry blessed for that. Your family has touched so many lives! I continue to pray for you guys daily.
Beautiful post. You are very lucky to have each other. God Bless
Such a beautiful post. Your love for your wife and daughter is nothing short of amazing. I've been praying for you both and will continue to so, for some time.
You are both so lucky and blessed to have each other. Thank you for sharing...
what a beautiful post!
Thank you both for sharing your story... your Maddie has touched many lives.
Sending many hugs and prayers your way!
As hard as it is to lose something so precious, I admire that you found something equally as precious in your marriage.
I was a teenage mother, and I chose to do the right thing for my daughter. She is adopted, and as hard as it is to see her growing up with someone else raising her, a lot of good came out of the situation.
I pray that good things will come your way in the near future. Try so hard to stay positive, even though I know it takes a toll on you.
I am so sorry for your loss, and I can't even imagine to begin to understand the pain. I can only stand back and admire the strength and courage it takes to carry on.
You're family has been in my thoughts and prayers since I first heard what happened. I don't know you guys at all but I'm amazed at the strength that your family has shown through this tragedy.
You two are an incredibly strong couple. Your strength is giving so many of us strength to help through daily struggles. Thank you for allowing us into your world. Lots of prayers being sent your way.
What an amazing post. You both have been so strong through all of this. Maddie was such a beautiful baby and so lucky to have you both as her parents. You have been in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you...
James I am so sorry you guys are having to go through this. I have not had the pleasure of meeting you or your wife, but I feel like I know you guys from your blog and from what Kellie posted on TMP. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you guys are experiencing. You guys are so blessed to have found each other and I am very happy to see that you guys are supporting each other through something that would tear most couples apart. My prayers are with you guys every day.
I have never met your family before, but I came across your blog yesterday. My husband and I ache for you and your loss. She was so blessed to come to this earth and have you two for parents- parents who love each other and her with your whole soul. You are both in our prayers... I'm so sorry.
I jus want you both to know that on facebook I M part of a group called coolest December 2010 moms Anywhere Woot Woot and we all have taken pictures of our little babies with bows and sent it to you in a slide show. I am so sorry for your loss i am sure you have been told that many times and I understand that there is nothing anyone can do to make your pain go away but I want you to know that if you ever want some women who I think are amazing to talk to look us up on facebook we would be glad to have you part of our group it is a great place to vent and these women I may not know them in person but they have helped me through a lot.
James, again your family has touched me! You and Kelley are so lucky to have each other and to have had Maddie! I could feel your love for her through your words and it was so touching!!!!! I hope what I am doing for you will help in some way. There are so many lives that your precious angel has touched.
FOR ANY BLOG READERS: I am holding a 1 week benefit event for Kelley and James. WHile I did not even know if thier existance until 2 short days ago, they have touched my soul. I knew I wanted to help. I am a boutique owner and am selling initial shirts to help raise money for whatever Kelley and James may need help with. You can go here to read about the benefit for Sweet Maddie:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=153900798000716#!/event.php?eid=153900798000716
Nikki
So beautifully written... you and your wife have a way with words. Remember to hold each other closer then ever. I remember when I lost my little brother, how my parents leaned on each other for support to help make it through, and 8 years later they still rely on each other. Its a rough go, but each day gets a little easier. Hold fast to the memories you created with Maddie because no one can take those away from you. God bless you both for having the courage to share this moment with others.
I am praying for you and your family. You are a wonderful husband, a loving father, and truly an amazing man
I'll Lend You A Child
by Edgar Guest
"I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine," He said.
For you to love - while he lives
And mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three,
But will you, till I call him back,
Take care or him for Me?
He'll bring his smiles to gladden you,
And should this stay be brief
You'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.
I've looked this world over
In search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd
Life's lanes, I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love,
Nor count the labor vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to call to
Take him back again?"
I fancied that I heard then say,
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done,
For all the joy Thy child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness,
We'll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known
Forever grateful stay.
But should the angels call for him
Much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that come
And try to understand."
I agree with everyone else who said there are going to be days when Kellie will carry you James and days where you will carry Kellie. There will even be days when neither one of you will feel strong, but know that on those days you can read the comments left here or look through all the pictures of all the little girls wearing their "Maddie" bows and draw some strength from that as well.
I was unable to be out and about yesterday because my son was home sick from school, but I'm wearing my bow for Maddie today! I don't have a daughter, but I am a daughter so even if I look ridiculous, I'm wearing it! :)
Thoughts and prayers with you both as you begin this new phase of your life together.
I have been thinking about all of you all day. I can't imagine what you are going through right now. I don't think my son would have appreciated me putting a bow on him, so I am wearing a bow today in honor of Maddy. I will continue to pray for your family.
I've been following this blog every since I saw it through a third person....it touched my heart soo much, I couldn't stop thinking about the loss that y'all just went through, and how hard it must have been...as I have a 4 month old daughter that was born oct 12th 2010..I know your little maddie was loved! And she is definitely yalls gaurdian angel looking down on y'all and smiling..I know that y'all both don't know me but I feel very connected to y'all! And it makes me smile through this very random tragedy that you both are very strong people! I am so sorry for your loss of your innocent baby girl, and glad you have each other to hold through this tough time. I'll definitely be thinking about y'all!
Beautifully written, I read your wife's blog for the first time yesterday and I couldn't help but cry just like so many other people for you. I cant imagine the pain you are going through. I have a 2 year old and an almost 3 month old so this hit close to home for me. I pray that god gives you both strength to get through this difficult time. My daughters wore their big bows yesterday for Maddie! Praying for you and your family
Your story has touched so many people. Our hearts are broken for you. You both seem to have so much strength in the darkness. I look up to you both for that. I can't begin to imagine how you both must be feeling. You, Kellie, and sweet little Maddie hold a special place in all our hearts.
I heard a song today. You may already know it but if not it's called...
Cry out to Jesus by Third Day.
It just seemed like an appropriate song for this situation.
God Bless.
James, As a wife and mother I want to tell you that your blogging was not only good for you, but for your precious wife as well. She may seem like a pillar of strength to you, but inside I'm sure she is falling apart. You may never know how much it will mean to her to read your feelings for her. We as women NEED that. We need to know how much we are loved. We need to know that we're doing "okay." So many men shut down during sad times and when they see their wives crying or upset they just walk away not knowing how to handle things. You just made her feel amazing by telling her how very much you love her and how special she and your daughter will always be to you. When those times come that you don't know what to do, turn to God. He will help you both through this tragedy. If you find her crying, no words are needed. Simply hold her and tell her you love her and that you will ALWAYS be there for her. I can not even begin to imagine the agony you are experiencing but please know that I am praying for your family. May you be forever blessed.
PS~My daughter is 18 years old but if I could have found a big bow, I would have begged her to wear it for your sweet Maddie.
Tragedies will either pull you apart or bring you very close together. It's beautiful to see that you are both there for eachother and have been the other's strength throughout these last few days. I cried when I read your post as it touched me so...my little boy turned 3 months today and I cherish the days even more then I did before. Hug eachother often, scream when you need to and find peace that your angel is always with you through it all.
I can't imagine what you & your wife are going through. You may think she is the strong one, but it takes a lot of courage to put one's feelings out like you did. I pray that you two can find comfort in each other.
I wrote the following poem after my second miscarriage. I hope you don't mind me sharing it-
Now I lay my weary head
On the tear-soaked pillow of my bed.
Because Baby, wanted, hoped for, dear,
Was only for a short time here.
So as I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my tears to keep.
And though my heart & soul do ache,
Don't let me completely break.
Hold me close through the night,
And help me wake to see some light.
Much love & many prayers,
Steph
my daughter has bow in her hair today, i am sorry for your loss and i know there are no words to make u feel better or to make you happy, i recently lost my sister because she was stilborn and i ust think that god needed another angel to help pour the rain. just be there for each other and never take for granted
(((HUGS))) It sounds like you two have an amazing relationship. I am so sorry that you had to write it. I am praying for you and your family..
I learned of your heartbreaking story when a friend of mine posted it on Facebook. I have been following and reading ever since... I have an 18 month old little girl and yesterday, in your daughter's honor, I put bows in her hair. I'm going to post the pictures on my blog (adrianeh.blogspot.com) because I'm not sure how else to send them to you. I know that we have never met, but your families' story has touched so many people these past few days. I have been thinking of you and praying for you since I started reading. Stay strong and God will take care of the rest. <3
I just wanted to tell you that I can not imagine what you and your wife are going through but your family is in my thoughts and prayers!
God bless you and your wife. I cannot help but cry every time I think about what your going through. My prayers are with you both always. Miss Maddie is smiling down on both of you always!
What a beautiful post, James. You and Kellie are lucky to have each other for the enduring love and support that is needed to make it through this tragedy.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
James, you are a very lucky man, and an amazing man for realizing it! You can get through this, you have an amazing support system!
As I told Kellie, take it day by day, hour by hour or even second by second. You can do this.
And it was absolutely no problem putting my daughter in a bow for Maddie! She generally won't keep them on her head, but she did for Maddie.
Prayers and love, Kendra
What a beautiful blog post. You are very lucky to have each other! Madison couldn't have been given to more perfect parents. Praying for peace and understanding. ((HUGS))
As I sat here and read this, tears were in my eyes. You really seem like a wonderful husband and father!! This time will be hard and trying, but just remember that only YOU and HER know exactly what each other are feeling and going through right now. Stay strong you guys!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers!!
It sounds as though you have one lucky wife to have a husband such as you! Stay strong during this time! I know it may seem impossible on some days. I lost a little girl to SIDS 14 years ago so I understand and feel all of the pain and sadness that you do. She is in heaven with other baby girls looking down on all of us!
Thank you for sharing with us. You all continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Cindi, TMP
Thinking of you & Kellie, sending lots of hugs and prayers during this sad time. Everytime I put a bow on my daughter, I will think of precious Maddie :)
It's very touching to read your words. Thank you for sharing such personal thoughts. You and your wife will need to cling to each other to get through the next few months and in some small way it makes my heart rejoice to know how much love you have for each other.
I have to tell you James, you were not only lucky for 4 short months, although your little princess has gone home to Heaven...you will be lucky for the rest of your life to have been her daddy! Things will be tough from here on out, all you have to remember is the love you will always have for your daughter and your wife! Take that love and use it like crazy for the rest of your lives together! <3 to your family!
James, I "met" Kellie online while you were trying to conceive Maddie, and I'll say this.. she loves you beyond words. I am so sorry that you and her have had to go through this. My heart & prayers are with you.
So sorry for your loss, I read your wife's blog yesterday and I have not stopped thinking of your family.I have been praying for your family and will continue to do so.
**applause**...That was beautiful! Thank you for sharing! Praying for you & your sweet wife!
Please read the book "Heaven is For Real". I believe it will give you great comfort in these very hard days. Imagine your little angel as just that, a sweet little angel with very little wings who will be waiting for you and is in the loving arms of God. I pray for peace for your hearts. God Bless!
Please read the book "Heaven is for Real". I think it will give you great comfort and is a true story. I pray for strength and peace for you both and your entire family. Know that others are praying for you as well and your little angel is being taken care of by God. God Bless
You are very blessed to have each other & I know that with the help of our Lord you 2 will overcome this tragic loss. I am praying for your family every day, praying that God will bring you peace and comfort your aching souls.
So glad you let some of your emotions out and shared them. Just know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. So sorry for your beautiful loss. I'm sure the world seems less brighter with her not in it. I have a friend who lost her son, and her daughter began blogging letters to her brother. It was the most touching moving letters I have ever read. But, her daughter said it truly helped her get through these moments.
She wrote it to her brother Porter and saying Dear Porter, I wonder. and she typed out everything she was thinking. She lost her brother when he went hiking and slipped and fell. Prayers to you again.
There are no words for me to convey to you how so very sorry we are for your loss!!! There simply are not enough of the right ones to convey these feelings for you and your family. But you both expess yourself well, and you teach us so much with your courage and strength and best of all your LOVE!!! I have thought often of you both these past few days and I have shed many tears for your loss, I wore a bow in my hair for Maddie, as did my mom, my sister, my sister in law her niece and my four niece. It seems weird to be thanking you for having the courage to are your experience, but we do thank you both, it helps us to remember the things that are REALLY IMPORTANT in this life we lead. May it bring some comfort to you to know that you have helped many to give that extra long hug, to apologize, to say I love you to someone special, to fnd joy n the small things, to put things into perspective, Your Princess will not be forgotten. May peace be with you.
I'm so glad you made a post. Sometimes the best thing you can do is express how you are feeling on paper or in this case on your wife's blog. Continue to love one another and to seek God and he will carry your family though this rough time. Your family is in our prayers.
God bless you, Kellie, Maddie and your entire family. Beautiful post!
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you and your family are going thru. You are guys are in our thoughts and prayers. Love each other and help one another through this time. Some days, you'll be stronger and some days she'll be stronger.
James your post was very sweet. You and Kellie are so strong.We are still praying for you guys.
That is a wonderful post. My <3 goes out to you both.
God bless you. You are so brave and strong both of you are so blessed to have each other and moreso to have your faith to lean on in this tough time
I am so sorry for your pain. I have followed your blogs and my heart just aches for the two of you! I set out on Wednesday morning to get my grand daughter the biggest bow that they can make so she could wear it to honor Maddie. She has many bows, but they just did not seem to be big enough. After leaving the first store I fell with her in my arms, she was not hurt because I guarded her from the fall. I broke my left ankle and my right toes. Although this happened I do not regret going one bit. Your precious Maddie is a perfect little angel and deserves the highest honor. Keeping you guys in my Prayers dailey. God Bless you Both!!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. My husband and I lost our little girl last month and I have been a wreck. I have to admit, I have never stopped to consider his feelings... He has had to pick me up and care for me through all of this, but hearing your thoughts makes me realize how much pain he is really in, and how much he probably needs me. Thank you for letting us see in to your feelings.
God Bless. Praying for you every day.
Virginia
http://likemommade.blogspot.com/
Oh wow... James, your post brought tears to my eyes! The outpouring of your heart was just moving and I'm glad that you were able to put your feelings into words in such a beautiful, touching way. My prayers are with you both as you travel this long journey of grief without your precious little Madison. Mine has been 7 years now and I can tell you- the pain gets less intense and raw, but of course you always, always miss them and wish things were different. Our hope is in the Lord and the promise of heaven and that we WILL someday be with our precious babies again. Praise God that we have that hope!! I cannot imagine it if we didn't!
be blessed...
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