This morning I woke up and immediately felt bad. I dreamed of Maddie all night. We were playing, talking, laughing and then I woke up to reality. One day I will appreciate those dreams, but now they just make me sad.
Then, I got a call from a hospital here in town. I called them on Friday to let them know our situation and tell them why I have not paid our bill. I didnt answer. The voice mail went like this, "I am so sorry for your loss. We can write off your bill, but we need a death certificate...". REALLY??? you want proof that my baby is DEAD!!! Why would I be making this up? It's really sad if someone has tried to scam them like that before. I have been told it will take months to get her death certificate. What really breaks my heart is that I never sent off for Maddie's birth certificate. I thought they did that for you.. but they dont. Can I still get it now? She was here.
Today is the Tiny Wings Auction at 12:00 there are some really cute items. We want to say thanks to Megg for putting it all together.
113 comments:
I'm sure you can get her birth certificate. In Idaho and Washington I know you do have to pay for them though.
You are living through a horrific time, but I must say I can feel the love you have radiating through your blog posts.
I'm so sorry for your loss your Maddie is beautiful....an yes go too the court house they will have her birth certification....
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I'm reading your blog every day and you and your family are never far from my thoughts. I know I never met you guys but if there is anything you need, please feel free to message me. I know you've heard that from so many people, but one more person can't hurt. Your family is always in my thoughts.
You don't know me and I don't know you. I saw your blog and auction on girl with a glue gun web site. I just want to tell you I am so sorry for your loss. I have not been in your shoes but have had friends we have been. Right now I am crying thinking about the funeral for their babies. It will get easier but I know she will always be a part of your life. Don't forget her and go ahead and cry. I think that is really the only way to get "better" Don't hide your emotions and if someone has issues with it they can get over it. Anyway, I just wanted to say I am so sorry and that from an outsider I have watched people and been there for them. Honestly for some of my friends a hug or cry session was the best thing.
Shannon
Yes you can get a birth certificate! I am so sorry for your loss! I will pray for you and your family. Your blog is so touching. When you are at your weakest please remember you and your baby have touched many lives.
I want to say something to you to make you feel better but I know there's nothing. You and your family have not been off of my mind since I first saw your blog. I saw several people that had pictures with there little girls in bows even a couple with little boys in bow ties. You have truly made a difference in so many peoples lives it's unbelievable it's a shame it had to happen the way it did but ur daughter has a purpose far beyond most people that live 80 years. I like to think that she's still here. She continues to be in thoughts prayers minds hearts. I would say at this point she is probably the most thought of little girl right now. I am a mother of two and currently going through a custody battle. You and your daughter both give me the hope and strength I need to push through it and be strong. I don't know you but my name is Ashley my email is ashliza_oh_yeah@yahoo.com if you ever wanna vent I will always respond. I've never been through anything near this but many people tell me that I'm a good listener and after talking with me they feel better. My father committed suicide 4 days before my birthday quite some years ago.. It was difficult and I know it doesn't completely relate but as hard as it is don't feel guilty. Don't beat yourself up. Your daughter needs your help to comings keeping her soul alive. In the bible that's what matters most right. She will always always be here if you keep her here. You are doing a fantastic job. I know I'll never forget maddie or you or your husband. Whether I ever speak to you or not. What your doing writing takes a lot of courage a lot of people wouldn't be able to do what you are. You are a remarkable woman and mother. God has given you a gift. Anyways please don't ever hesitate if you needed someone I would love to help in any way that I can.
Sending you love and support.
Also, I've been waiting all day for the auction, it's a great thing they are doing.
I'm sure you can get Maddie's birth certificate, don't worry about that. I haven't sent off for Bella's either, so many things I have put off doing, now more than ever I realize that tomorrows are not guaranteed...I am still here if you need anything.
I am sorry to hear that you are in pain. The loss of a child is not something that is quickly recovered from, there is a large gapping wound where your heart use to be. It will take time to get back to a semi normal state. You can always get a copy of your child's birth certificate. Just call your vital statistics department, you can go there in person or most of them will do it over the phone with a credit card. You, your husband and family are in my prayers. <3
Thanks for sharing!
Maddie is just precious! How fortunate that you had her in your family for 4 months...
Kellie, do you still have that form to order it online? If not i can send it to you. There are a couple of different ones you can get. I am sorry you are having a rough morning. :(
You can always get a birth certificate love, no matter if the person is living or deceased. just go down to your local courthouse. You should be able to take it home the same day. ♥ your hospital is jerks. seriously. They don't need to be like that, especially in the situation that is going on. I'd call and complain, that was totally uncalled for.
I don't know you and you don't know me but I have been following your blog every day at work, I am a master teacher in the 2 year old room in collinsville ok. I read your blogs and cry, my heart aches for you. You are so strong to be able to share your story with all of us. I wonder about you every day and pray for you at night, I have 2 children and I couldn't begin to imagine what your going through. Just remember, if God brings you to it, he WILL bring you through it! You are a strong woman, I'm sorry for your loss, I really don't know what to say but there are many people here praying for you all!! I hope that brings you a little comfort, sending hugs and prayers your way, Mackenzie.
I am so sorry that today is starting off so rough, I wish that I could tell you things will be ok, but I can't. It will take time before you will be able to adjust to your new normal. It is so sad to think that there are people out there who would make up such horrible things to avoid paying their bills but unfortunately there are. Take a deep breath hold tight to the wonderful memories and just put one foot in front of the other!
xoxox
Kelli @ loveoursimplelife.blogspot.com
I think you are such an amazing woman and I don't even know you. I found out about your story on Facebook and I read your blogs everyday. I am not sure if it is the right thing to say or not (who really know what to say to a grieving parent) But you have made me a better mom. You opened my eyes through your caring word and showed me that you can not take a moment for granted. I now spend a little less time in front of the computer, a little less time on the phone and a little more time cherishing what I have. Tomorrow is never promised and you never really think about that until you are introduced to a story like yours.
I can not even image the pain you are going through and at night I think about you and how strong you are. You have touched so many lives through your blog and inspired so many woman to really appreciate what they have. You are amazing and you are making a difference.
I am so sorry about baby Madison, she is will always be with you, watching over you.
I hope you realize that by sharing your story through this blog you have made many women better mothers, many fathers better fathers, and many families stronger unions.
People (and I totally include myself) need a reminder sometimes to not take things for granted. Because of your family, I know thousands of kids got extra hugs, extra kisses and extra time with their parents.
We have you and Madison to thank for that.
Continued love and healing to your family...
I haven't posted before now as I just don't know what to say. I wanted you to know though that we're all sending our prayers your way.
Yes hun, you can still get her birth certificate, it will cost you a little bit though, they don't give them to us for free, which they should for the first one in my opinion.
I know the hospital was a bit rude, but unfortunetly you will be hearing that a lot 8( When my dad passed away my mom had all these things she was told she had to do, and no one would let her do anything without his death certificate. When you do get it, request several copies, because a lot of people will need it.
My thoughts and prayers are still with you all.
I just want to say that even though I don't know you I still think about you each day and I wish there was something I could do or say.
When our son passed away in September we asked the funeral home to write a letter to use for legal things until Shane's death certificate came, I'm sure yours could do the same thing.
I'm sorry about the hospital but as someone else wrote those things will continue to happen off and on! We had a friend be a go between for us and anyone like that , that we didn't want to talk with .
As for her birth certificate , you'll have to mail off for the full form but your healthy dept can print you the short form to use for now.
Our family has been praying for you guys and will continue to do so in the days to come! Thank you for sharing a glimpse into your beautiful Maddie's little life with so many people.
Sending support and prayers your way today. I just bid on something in Maddie's auction. ((hugs))
My heart breaks for you every time I sit down at my computer. I have your blog pulled up and refresh the browser often to see if you've written anything for the day. I cannot imagine how you are coping, and I'm sure you don't know either. Please know that there are many friends (and strangers like me) praying for you, as well as aching at the thought of the journey you've been forced to take.
My girls are wearing big bows today.... they do most of the time, but now when I put their bows on them, I can't help but think of your sweetie who sported a matching bow everyday. I will kiss my babies in honor of yours each time I put their bows on them so that we will remember Maddie and remember that life is fragile and our days are numbered.
Hang in there, sweet girl. You are on the hearts and minds of many...
~Amber
Sweetie,You Angel visited her mommy in your Dreams..She came to love...I know it hurts,but that was her way of letting you know she is okay...I studied Dreams,and what they mean from Sylvia Browns Point of view..It was your Angel..Sylvia Brown has really good books about spirits,and she is an amzing physic,i thought of getting in touch with her myself,but dont have the gutts to do it..Look her up,check out her books..And YES,you can deffinetly get her birth certificate,the county court house will have it,and print it rite there,it is like 15 dollars.I think u can do it on line also..Stay strong sweetie,not a day goes by i dont think of you and your family..My prayers are with you..
Hebrew Chapter 11 verse 9.
Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for,the evidence of things not seen...Even though you cant see her,she is there!xoxoxo
I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet little baby.I am sure that you can still get a birth certificate for your little one and as far as the hospital goes, most people who work in their collections office are that way.It's aweful, but it's true.They don't have a connection to any of us out here so they just have to do what the hospital expects of them..Most of the time they are very cold and uncaring.Remember that you and your family are loved by your blogging friends(most of us don't know one another but we still care).
Your story saddens me so much. I have a 3 year old little girl and no way in this world can I imagine what you are going through. I love the idea of the auction for you all and donated a shirt. I am praying for you and your family and Miss Maddie that she is dancing on the clouds with the other babies in heaven.
www.brandielam.com
Your story saddens me so much. I have a 3 year old little girl and no way in this world can I imagine what you are going through. I love the idea of the auction for you all and donated a shirt. I am praying for you and your family and Miss Maddie that she is dancing on the clouds with the other babies in heaven.
www.brandielam.com
Just read your news on LFCA. I am so, so sorry ... keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
A poem for you.....
We thought of you with love today but that is nothing new
We thought about you yesterday
and days before that too
We think of you in silence we often speak your name
Now all we have are memories
and your picture in a frame
Your memory is our keepsake with which we'll never part
God has you in his keeping
we have you in our heart.
May God give you the gifts of grace, peace, understanding and perseverance as you embark on a journey of healing! May you find peace in your hearts and joy in the memories of your short time with Maddie! God Bless the Staats...You are in my thoughts and prayers!
u can get her birth certificate from the county she was born in, in Texas it is about $25. th get the death certificate u can get it by asking the funeral home. they r suppost to help u get it, and they can take up to 4-6 weeks. we had to get one of each for when my fother-in-law passed.
I just wanted to give you some virtual *hugs*.
I will be honest...I considered today to not visit your blog. I hadn't logged on since last Friday. I typed in the address, then deleted it, then typed it again and deleted it again. I was being selfish. Because I didn't want to cry any more....every time I read a post, think of your family, or put a bow in my daughter's hair, I think of your precious tiny angel and your family. But then I decided if you can't escape....I won't escape!!!! I am a stranger, but a stranger that knows your love for your daughter and wants you to know I am here to support you and your tough journey ahead. Know that you are touching lives and helping people heal! And I must say regarding your decision to have another child now later or whenever...THATS YOUR BUSINESS. Don't listen to anyone else. Judging from the way your and your husband love your daughter you would have had another one had maddie gotten to stay with you guys. Why would you change your mind now. And another baby doesn't replace Maddie, it just give Maddie a sibling! If you need some ideas about how to keep your next one home with you while you earn some money....You could make Maddie's Bow-tique:-) You could let Maddie help support her siblings by giving her name to a boutique that offered any BOWS that anyone was willing to sell in your shop....heck clothing, hats, shoes etc. I make bows on the side and would be happy to make a line for you should you decide to do that. Let your heart decide when the siblings come, not your finances! If your heart is ready tomorrow, or in ten years that is when it is time. We are praying for you and loving you from Houston TX!
sending you strength. you can still get her birth cert. and yes, it hurts so much to have to provide proof of the one thing we wish would have never happened. ((hugs))
I am so sorry. I am sure that your dreams mad you so very sad. No mother should have to hurt the way you are doing, yet you are pressing on, every single minute, every single day. HUGS.
it doesn't take months. It took us a week to get her death certificate. It is hard, and no parent should ever have to have a death certificate for their baby. When we went to get Leila's birth certificate, we also got her death certificate... It felt sick and wrong, and I was so upset I threw up. My heart goes out to you.
I do not know you but I saw your blog posted on a friend's facebook page. As I was reading through your story, my heart broke for you and your husband. I cannot fathom what you are going through. You are in my prayers today and I am sure I will think of you often in the days to come and will pray for you then as well.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you are going through. I have been praying for your family. You should be able to get her birth certificate.
Lots of love to you. I can't stop thinking about your family. Everytime I put a bow in my daughters hair I will think of Maddie. And just fyi county court houses dont have access to birth certificates anymore. You'll have to get it from the state. But you can get it. Where I live it costs $15 and a self addressed stamped envelope. I think it would make you feel better to have it.
I have never commented on your page and recently I didn't know what to say to you. It's so hard to come up with the perfect words for someone who is in pain that I could never imagine. I watched your slideshow and it devestated me. I sat here crying for you and your family. I just want to say that I am so so so sorry for your loss. I am so sorry you have to go through this. Your family will forever be in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you know how many hearts Maddy has touched.
Yes, you still can definitely get her birth certificate. I'm very sorry for your loss. I admire your strength and you're doing a great job coping with this. Losing someone dear isn't the easiest thing to go through, especially when it's your child. I had a miscarriage two Septembers ago and it was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I most certainly know your pain.
Just remember Maddie as she was and how happy she was to have you and your husband as her parents!
Good luck with your photography, I'm confident you'll do great at it!!!
You don't know me. I came across your blog on FB. You and your family are constantly in our prayers. As a mother, I could not imagine. You seem very very strong. Just know that you and maddie are in our thoughts and prayers always.
I'm sure you get tons and tons of emails,letters,comments etc. So I can understand if you don't reply.
I've never had a baby nor lost someone extremely close but I want to let you know I have been following your blog just recently and my heart truly does go out to you both. I had a friend that lost her baby to SIDS when she was 6 months old. I must say you are coping well and I do think blogging helps this.
I just wanted to let you know that when people say things will get better and easier as time passes, they are right. God only gives you as much as you can handle.
You'll never have the right answers so don't beat your self up over the what ifs everything does happen for a reason that some times we may never know why but they do.
God gave you maddie bcuz you were the perfect parents to a perfect angel.
Thank you for sharing its truly a heartfelt story.
We'll keep you in our prayers
Xoxo
-from Ontario Canada
As a resident of Texas, you will need to go to the court house to get the birth certificate. Here, our cousin is a justice of the peace and that is where we got our daughters. It cost $10 state seal and all.
Our church message this Sunday was about Judgement Day and what it really is. Judgement Day is not the last day of our life, no, it is the first day of eternity. Although Maddie's mortal life was short lived, her spiritual life will last for eternity. Maddie is lucky. Lucky she never had to experience the grief, pain and worries we as mortal beings experience. Maddie experienced nothing but love and happiness in her 4 month mortal life and she continues to experience love and happiness in her spiritual life.
My daughter too is 4 months old, 8 days after Maddie, and after I read Maddie's story a week ago, I shed pools of tears for you and James everyday when I think about loosing her.
My family continues to lift your family up in prayer and ask for guidance for you an your husband as you live your life, one second at a time.
{{{{hugs}}}} from La Grange!
Amanda Hart
Sending you love and support. I have been praying for you every night since I found your blog. God bless you and your little angel. Much love.
i've read your blog through megs bows and i think about you guys every single day. my heart and a lot of tears goes out to you guys. your situation hits home and again my heart, hugs and support go out to you guys! keep beautiful baby maddies memory alive!! she IS with you always!! <3 ((((hugs)))))) and see im cryn again...
i will be checking out all the auctions and telling everyone i know to try and help as well!
LOVE AND ((((HUGS))))) <3 <3
((hugs)) holding you in prayer...
I don't know if you read all your comments and I totally understand if you don't. But I was going through the auction in tears. My heart aches for you I couldn't imagine the pain, I look at my 3 month old DD and I can't even bring myself to think of myself in your situation. My thoughts and prayers are with you for whatever thats worth...
My heart truly breaks for you and your family.
I don't know why, but your blog appeared on my facebook one day and now not a day goes by that I don't check to see if you've updated it. Every time I read it I can't help but cry. When I was 22 I had my first daughter, Hannah, only to have her taken away 6 days later. Not a day goes by where I don't think about her and look and her little hand and foot print plasters we had done... as I am sure there isn't a moment in your life you don't think about your Maddie. It never seems fair and it never will. After loosing our Hannah out of fear of people thinking we were having a "replacement" child we had decided to not have anymore children, but not long after that choice I had discovered I was pregnant and this Amazing child has showed us it's ok to love and be happy again. So when the timing is right for you and your husband don't think of the what-ifs - just know it's ok to still be happy and love again... nothing could ever replace the love you carry for your beautiful Maddie.
I think about you and your family everyday and as they days go on it will get a bit easier to move forward.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you are feeling i have to lost a child at a very young age. My little angel passed away 2 hours after she was born. I can tell you this that things will get easier as time passes but it will NEVER go away! This was 3 almost 4 years ago. We finally decided to have another baby and she was born October 15, 2010. She is so close in age with your beautiful baby girl. It scares me. But i just wanted to tell you im so sorry for your loss and your not alone. May god help you through this rough time in life and may he put peace in your heart knowing that your beautiful bundle of joy is in the best hands she could ever possibly be in! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!
I'm so sorry for your loss! I really feel you need to have your babysitter investigated hun! I had my daughter in those swaddler's and she did fine!You and your family are in my prayers!
Your blog brings me to tears, yet you seem to be so strong. There will unfortunately be more rough mornings to come, but remember God will never give you more than you can handle. I have always loved the song "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry. You should listen to it. One verse really gets me every time:
Lord make me a rainbow
I’ll shine down on my mother
She'll know I’m safe with you
When she stands under my colors
Oh and life ain't always what you think it ought to be
No, ain't even gray
But she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life
I hope you can find comfort in knowing that Maddie will forever be your rainbow. You have been and will stay in my prayers. May God give you and your husband continued strength.
Yes you can still get her birth certificate. We got a verification of death at the hospital for our insurance, but never applied for a birth or death certificate. We also never sent for a ssn.
I have been reading your blog and praying for you every day since I came across it a week ago. I don’t know you guys…but you and James are on my mind a lot. Just know that you are being prayed for. I don’t understand what you are going through, but I have a 10 month old and can quickly start crying just putting myself in your situation. My heart aches so bad for you and James. I pray that not that you will question why it happened but that you will have the ‘peace of God which transcends all understanding’.
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me–put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
<3 Jess
I am so sorry for your lost ever since I have heard of what happened to yall there hasnt been a day that has passed I havent thought about you and your family! I have a 3 month old little girl and so your story is always on my mind and in my heart. I am so sorry for all that you are going through. My prayers are with you daily. I am so amazed at how wonderful and strong you are! Maddie is so proud of how brave and strong her mommy is!! I know my words wont bring her back to your arms but just like everybody else I want you to know that you are loved and Maddie is loved actually your whole family is. I read your blogs every day and I will continue to do so! you have inspired so many people and brought us all together! I also want to thank you for posting about that baby monitor that detects when your child is not moving I am DEF getting one asap! You are a wonderful mommy and such a wonderful woman! God bless you and your sweet sweet family!
You don't know me, I saw your blog on Girl and a Glue Gun's blog. My heart breaks for you so much. I understand what you mean about the dreams. My dad died when I was 16 (I'm 23 now) and dreaming of him made me so sad. Now I pray that I will dream about him because it really is nice getting to "see" him every night. It really has become a comfort.
My heart is completly broken for you and your husband. You are such a brave woman and I am so sorry that you are going thru this. Your daughter is such a beautiful little princess! I will keep you and your family and your little angel in my thoughts and prayers.
Kellie, Hi..You dont know me..I saw your information on another blog. I want you to know that my Sweet Connor died 2 years ago this March from SIDS. Almost same scenario as your beautiful Maddie. Everything you are feeling I have felt, I have been there. I am still there. You will feel these thing forever. I see your husband says how unfair this is, my husband and I STILL say that 2 years later. We can become great friends if you want. I am HERE if you need me. When My Connor died I wanted someone that knew how I felt...I know how you feel. Let me know if I can help you. I started my own blog this year.."A Road back To Happiness"..Check it out..Also FB me..Lisa-Ann Mitchell Stafford...I'm here if you need me. Sending lots of love and prayers!!
I just watched the video at the top of your blog and I am in full blown tears. You have a beautiful family and here or not, Maddie will always be yours... I hope that you will be able to find peace and will get the answers you need.. I read your last post too and of course you will have more babies! I have 3 and I still want one more. Having more doesn't mean in any way that you are trying to replace her and I hope it doesn't take you years to get there but only you can decide when the time is right. Thank you for sharing your story. I will hug my kids a little tighter and agree to read "just one more book" because of it. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers..
I'm a firm believer that the spirits of loved ones passed on can visit you through your dreams and I'm sure your dream was Maddie coming to play with her Mommy, and let her know she's ok. Everytime i dream of my Mom she is young, in her 20's and I know it's her, I don't have them often enough anymore, however, I spent 30 days in the hospital on bedrest before giving birth to my last baby and I dreamed of her every night that I was there (she had been there for the birth of my 3 other children) and the night before my scheduled c-section, in my dream she was telling me she would be there for the birth of my Son the next day, she also said I've been waiting for this day, holding him until you were able too. ( that was in July and I haven't had a dream of her since). I really believe it's her and maybe you can find some comfort in your dreams of Maddie knowing it's her coming to see you! (((hugs)))
I have been visiting your blog daily. You do not know me. I am writing to you from Upstate, New York. I found your blog through a friend. I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss. I feel so saddened for you and will walk around the house and just start crying out of nowhere realizing that you are hurting so deeply. As a mother, this is my worst nightmare and you are going through it. And your right it doesn't seem fair.
I don't know if any words can help with what you are going through but you need to know that you are truly a strong woman for sharing your story with the rest of the world and are an inspiration to all mothers because you are such a great model of a perfect mother and are continuing to make wonderful decisions for your daughter. You are teaching us all to cling to our children and not let the perfect moments pass us by especially on those days that are so busy.
I love how God is surrounding you with so much love from your family to hundreds of strangers and I PRAISE Him for that. I just want you to know that Jesus is a great comfort and can and will help you through these most difficult times. Although you will always have a deep whole in your heart, I hope that through God you will find peace, guidance, answers and understanding His plan for you. Right, the dreams you are having may hurt so badly but in time I believe that you will love those dreams and wish that they will never go away.
You may have heard this poem before but it holds very true meaning that God is with you always:
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?
The Lord replied, The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.
XOXOXO
Qstarr4@yahoo.com
I come back and check on you guys every day since this happened. I just watched the video and it was beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Praying for your strength and peace.
You can still get her birth certificate...
I do want to warn you that that it may have "deceased" stamped across it. its awful. i was so excited to get my boys birth certificate only to find that awful word stamped across it. as if a death certificate isn't enough....
((hugs)) praying for you. keep writing. its so therapeutic and you have so many people praying for you!
I am so sorry for your loss. Madie was so beautiful. As I write this I am crying for your loss and the loss of my two babies to SIDS in 1989 and 1991. They were 2 months and 4 1/2 months.
I am certain you can get her birth certificate.
I know it is hard when friends, family everyone tip toes around you. I promise they are not afraid of you, but they are afraid. They worry they will say or do the wrong thing and cause you more pain. They don't know they are hurting you by not talking.
Have you read the poem "The Elephant in the Room" here is a link to it". Maybe you can share it with your family and friends. It may help them understand.
Again I am so sorry (((((HUGS)))))
I am terribly sorry for your loss. I hope that with each passing day you become stronger and stronger. Maddie loves to see you smile at her and she is in God's hands. I am a mother of two and your loss is very saddening. Your strength is inspiring and your courage amazes me. I hope you know that you are providing many mommies like me patience, love, and kindness by sharing your blog. We are all praying for you and your family. Maddie is touching lives everyday!
your story inspires me to be the best mom I can be. your blog brings me to tears and fills my heart with patience and so much love.
I didnt even finish your post I just had to say YES you can still get her birth Cert. Send off for it right away!You need to have it....
We have to collect the babies birth certificate within 4 weeks by law in the UK.
I can't stop thinking about this beautiful little baby I never met. She has made such an impression on me. I start crying out of nowhere when she pops into my thoughts.
Sorry to hear you are having an especially rough day, but I doubt anyone expects anything else.
xxx
Yes, you can get a copy of her birth certificate any time. However, I want to pre-warn you for something that your state may require and might come as a surprise when you open the certificate in the mail. Having this knowledge might not save you the pain but it can hopefully take some of the shock factor off if it happens to you. Please read this blog post from a friend who also lost her little girl and hadn't ordered her birth certificate yet:
http://themcclenahans.blogspot.com/2009/06/how-are-we-really-doing-honestly-we.html
In love, Lindsey
I am so sorry for your loss. I wanted to let you know that I put a bow in my daughters hair for Maddie every day. I have been reading your blog and my heart goes out to you and your husband. You can still get a birth certificate. I just want you to know that I think of you guys every day. I am so sorry that is happened to you.
Sincerely,
Lisa
Here from LFCA. I am so very sorry for your loss. Maddie was obviously so loved. Your family is in my thoughts.
I am so sorry to hear that happened to you! honestly i got it everywhere i turned after my son passed! It took almost 6 months before i got a death certificate for my son and sometimes its still not good enough cause the cause of death is still undetermined. its hard i know!
The dreams will always be ahrd to deal with but soon you will want to dream them cause it will be the one time you get to cherish the time you get to see her! i was told from someone when i was having all these dreams and waking up sad that i was having these dreams cause my son was in heaven thinking of me and it was his way of saying i love you and miss you too! keep you chin up! i know its hard to see now, and i didnt see it right aways, but things will start to be different! i still struggle daily but you learn how to deal with the struggles to move on. the only thing that gets me through my day is my daughter! those little moments with her are what i cherish everyday so i can keep going for her! i am praying for you and your family!
Just a quick Drop In To Remind You What An Amazing Women You Are!!!Your morning to come will get easier,it just takes time,and we all know Time,it takes it's time..Chin Up,xoxoxox
Gen Scahill
sending you love and a hug through the miles.
First of all...I just want to tell you both how deeply sorry I am for your loss. I dont know you, but your blog was circulating on Facebook and I have been following it. This is the saddest thing I have ever seen and I've been praying and will continue praying for you and your family :(
I dont know if you have ever heard of this or believe...but when you are dreaming of a loved one who has passed, you need to pay close attention to what they do/say and its a great time for you to do/say anything you need to. I know it sounds out of left field, but when you dream of the ones who have passed they are communicating with you.
My little sister was killed in a car accident and I have dreamed about her only one handful of times in 8 years. Its really special times and few and far in between. You are very blessed to have dreamed about her last night and it sounds like she was telling you everything is okay and she is alright!
I watched the video that was posted. It is truly heartbreaking. You can tell that little Maddie was so loved and it just doesn't seem fair that she was taken from you. I imagine that you are right like you said in another blog, people are scared that they might say the wrong thing and upset you. I'm sure they know you won't bite :) I'm praying for strength for you and your husband daily.
I check back here every morning to see how your doing. I don't even know you but you and mattie are always in my thoughts and I pray for you all day long. I hope you never stop writing, because I think I'd worry about you.
I am so sorry it has been such a rough day! I continually lift you up in prayer each day. I know that you can get the birth certificate, and also know that you will need multiple copies of the death certificate. (I ordered 10 because some need an actual certificate and others may take a copy) I am so sorry that you even have to think about such things!! It isn't fair or normal! And I am sorry that the hospital business office seemed so harsh-there is no excuse for that except that they have not been through anything that makes them aware of the pain. But I do know that so many are praying for you and your husband and so many are sending you love. I know the dreams can be painful now, but eventually I hope they will bring you comfort.
Once again, lifting you up in prayer!
Today I read your blog and cried for you. As a mother of 2 little girls and a previous child care provider my heart hurts for you and your family. I can't even imagine what you are going through. I am so sorry for your loss. Maddie is a beautiful little girl, a precious angel. Children are wonderful gifts we receive during our lives; some for only short times. They touch our lives and teach us so much about ourselves and the world around us. How differently we see everything when our lives have been so blessed with a miracle of a baby. I will pray for your family as you go through this tragic time.
I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts. I am so sorry for everything. She is a beautiful little girl who is watching over you and her dad.
Yes you can get her birth certificate still. You should be able to get both of them at the same time although you will have to pay for both of them. I am sorry about your loss; I lost my beautiful daughter soon after she was born. I will not say that life will become easier I will not lie but the days do become bearable.
Your daughter was just beautiful. I am so thankful that I stumbled upon your blog, after some prayers were requested for you and your family after your loss. I can not imagine what it must be like to begin again after being a mom. I am so sorry you have to but God must have known something that you don't about the reason. Lots of hugs to you and I hope that God gives you peace you so deserve.
I'm so very sorry for you and your husbands loss, my heart breaks for your family...sending prayers your way..I've been following your blog, and I just want you to know that your family has been in my thoughts and prayers ever since reading this!
praying for yall all the time.
yes, you can get her birth certificate, and don't feel bad about waiting because a lot of people seem to (myself included).
i went looking for new bows this weekend but didn't have any luck. our biggest one just isn't big enough.
even though you don't know me, i think of you, and your husband, and maddie every day.
I cant even begin to imagine the difficult time you & your family is going through :(
But thank you for being brave in posting out your journey through this difficult time in your life.
Somehow, it made me hug my kids more.
Your Maddie is indeed very precious. You have a very beautiful angel up there.
Praying for you and your family all across the globe :)
*hugs*
-Bless
you have no clue who i am. just like alot of other people that are writing on this. i am a single mother to an almost two year old. i am not single by choice her dad was killed a few days before maddie passed away.
i wish i could truly explain how much your blog has helped myself along with our family get thru our trying time also. we found it within a few days of maddie passing.
my daughters dad truly is head over heels for babies. especially little girls. he was even before we had our daughter. i knew in my heart even before i found your blog that he was in heaven rocking babies to sleep because i know thats what he loved to do.
the day i found your blog i went to visit him at his gave and i told him about maddie and your family. as soon as i said maddie this feeling of peace just came over me like he was saying i know i have already met her.
our family is praying for yours and i know maddie is watching over you every step of the way.
May God be with you & comfort you in the very difficult days ahead! Praying for peace & guidance as you make a life without your princess with you physically. Losing a child is a wound that time can't heal, but in time the sweet memories you have of her will bring smiles instead of tears. Half of my heart is an angel as well- the other half is here with my baby boy. Another child will NEvEr take her place, but it will certainly help heal. Many thoughts from our family to yours.
Let me start off by telling you that you are a STRONG woman and you are very fortunate to have such a strong man to hold you up when you're feeling down. I read your blog a lot but this is the first comment I have left you. I never leave your blog without bawling my eyes out, my laptop always has tear drops all over it. You two are living every parents worst nightmare; personally this was/is one of my biggest fears. I couldn't imagine having to do the things you have done. I pray that you two get all the answers you need. I know that you can not simply 'move on' but I know the wounds will heal in time.
Your family is in my thoughts daily I wish you and your family the best in this trivial time
keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! Thinking of you often! I cannot even imagine what you are going though! My heart breaks for you:(
I am so sorry for what you and your family are going though. I read your blog everyday and I keep you all in my prayers. You are such a strong person I don't think I could be as strong as you. I pray each day gets a little better for you. She was a beautiful girl and will be a gorgeous angel. I have two boys one will be one saturday and the other well be two weeks tomorrow your blog makes me remember tomorrow is not guaranteed so I cherish every moment I have with them. I am here if you need someone besides your family to go to brittbratt_20042001@yahoo.com. I love you guys and continue to be strong I will continue to keep you all in my prayers.
I sit here and just cry for you. i too am 27 yrs old. i have 3 children and my youngest is a daughter just 2 days younger than your sweet Maddie. I have felt an instant connection to you since I first heard of your story on FB. I have no words to express my sincere sadness that I am feeling for you guys. I look at my Brystol and think of you all day everyday. Brystol even looks like your Maddie. My heart aches for you! Love and Prayers from Hattiesburg,MS
-Brittany
you will without a doubt appreciate those dreams. and i PRAY for you, that you never stop dreaming of her!
and yes, you can get her birth certificate. you can go into your local courthouse and get them on the spot!
The video montage was lovely. I'm so very sorry for your unexplainable loss. Your daughter is beautiful. Thank you for sharing her with us. Blessings to you. Carol
So very sorry for everything you have gone through. I dont really know what to say accept I am thinking of you and hope that things get easier soon. My husband lost his first son and I know even now 7 years later it still hurts him, but I can tell you days get bearable and although Maddie will never be far from your thoughts you will be able to live again. I read in an earlier post you were thinking about the future and having another child. I think that is the smartest thing, and you should never have to explain yourself anyone that doesnt understand that you would like to have another child knows nothing. It is no different than any other parent that has planned for their second child. Sending you tons of love and support.
I found your post on Megg's FB on the 22 and the first post I read was "I used to likt the number 22." After that I have been keeping up with your story. My heart goes out to you and your family and I can tell by the posts and comments that I am not alone when I say that you are a very loved and uplifted family/
I am so sorry for your loss, and my son and I have been praying day and night for you and your family. I know that after a certain point, you don't know what to say when someone say's I am sorry. It isn't like they could have prevented what happened or changed the outcome in some way. I went through that and still am when my brother passed away 3/6/2008 the day before my 19th birthday. I still hear I am sorry from stranger's when they ask questions. I will be honest when I say that I am not sure that it gets easier. I have been telling myself for the past 3 years that my brother is away at work. When my son was born I told myself he had to go out of town, at the holidays I say he is on call. It has worked for me, so if telling yourself that she is away at her grandparents works for you then do it. Whatever it takes to get thru this time. You will come out the other side, and you will have a new outlook on life. It doesn't make sense now, and probably never will, but always remember...God does everything for a reason. Maybe he needed her beautiful smile and wonderful personality up there with him.
As far as the birth certificate goes, you should be able to go get one. I know in Texas there is a fee of $25 I believe to get one. I have 2 for my son. One that is wallet sized taht I carry with me and one that is full size that I keep stored away. I would suggest getting a wallet sized for both you and your husband and then one full size. That way you always have her with you.
I know that you don't know me and I don't know you. But if you ever need anyone to talk to I am here. I can't promise that I will have all the right answers, but I can promise to listen. Keep your head up, heart open, and pray.
I also do not know you or your family but stumbled upon your blog and story and my heart breaks for you and your husband. I cannot imagine what you must be going through and feeling. But do know, like others said, that through reading your story the past week I have been a bit more patient with my kids when they spill, on facebook a bit less and playing with them more, cuddling with them extra seconds at night. It has made me a better mama. And, in time, will make you one...that future child that you will someday have will be the luckiest little person to have a mama and daddy who know what it means to lose a child....who will spare no expense and always take time to snuggle. You will be that much more patient with that lucky child than the rest of us. And he or she will have a very special guardian angel watching over them. Your daughter was an absolute beauty and I am so so sorry that she had to be taken from you far too early. Sending you love and healing energy.....
Kellie --
I am a friend of a friend of yours. I am so very sorry for your loss.
If Maddie was born in Harris County, Texas, then you should be able to go to any Harris County Annex and order her birth certificate.
Or, you can go to www.vitalrec.com and order it there.
The funeral home should be able to help you with the death certificate.
No one should be going through what you and your husband are going through. I am so very sorry.
I don't know you, but I know that my Heavenly Father does personally. There are not words to express the depth of your loss, but I just want you to know that you and your family are in my prayers. May the Lord carry you and your husband in His arms for as long as you both need. in His love, Sherree
I know its been a rough start today for you kellie.Just know that Maddie is here with ya and shes been here in all the hearts of all the bidders,and people who donated today for the auction and shes been in Megans heart.Your baby loves you as much as you love her and not even heaven can keep her from showing you this.:)
I don't even know what to say. What could I possibly write that could even take away one ounce of your pain?!!? Maddie is the most beautiful angel I have ever seen... I thank you for sharing your story. I held all my boys a little tighter tonight and forgot all about my selfish desire to have a 'pink' baby. I don't know the reason why such a horrible thing could occur, please know that others are praying for you.
I thought of you often today as I will for a long time to come. Fly High pretty Maddie and make sure you shower your mommy and daddy with butterfly kisses when you can. <3 <3 <3
Your story has touched me, like it has many others, and I can't stop thinking about you and your beautiful baby girl. I have a baby girl the same age as Maddie and I can't imagine having to go through what you're going through right now. My baby girl has been wearing big bows in honor of your Maddie. I'm praying that Jesus will comfort you with his love. You will see your Maddie again some day!
I came across a blog of another mom who recently lost her baby girl to SIDS as well (at the sitters too). I thought maybe you could find some support through it: http://grievingmomma.wordpress.com/
My heart goes out to you...may the Lord give you his peace and strengthen you with his love.
"Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me."
Psalm 23:4
Thank you...
...for having the courage to share your family's story with everyone. It has truly inspired the both of us to start our own blog. It is a working progress but we too will have different stories and feelings to share with the world. We may not comment on every entry you post but we are following your blog. Thank you.
We are sorry for the pain you are going through, but just know your family is in our prayers.
-Phan and Laura
and the hits keep coming..........
I know you want this to be all over...better still that this not happen at all!!!! Sadly though reality is what keeps slamming into us..and you...mostly you though because it IS your reality. The only way I can think to lesson the blows is to be prepared for them. Of course you can get he Birth Certificate. Someone not necessarily you or James needs to contact the funeral home to obtain the necessary documents (get several copies) you will need for
the various agencies who treated Maddie. Eventhough this is horrid, it needs to be done. I worked in a healthcare facility in a billing office...the women who worked with me were extremely compassionate when this type of thing happened to a family, tears were even shed for the families suffering through such a heartbreak. But this paperwork is a necessary evil so things can be properly documented. But if these letters are mailed out before you get the calls, you won't have to deal with the "calls" or messages. your accounts will be noted and they will wait for the proper documents. Some may even contact the other offices to let them know and you won't have to deal with anything other than the mailing of said docs. It is my wish that your Maddie dreams will soon bring you comfort rather than sadness. Always in my thoughts and Always in my prayers!! May you soon fnd comfort and peace in your hearts!!!
I pray for your family each and every day. I could never image going through what you are going through. I pray the lord gives you peace and strength. May he bless your life for the rest of your life!
Since the day I first read your blog you, your husband, and your little angel have been in my thoughts. My daughter is named Paige Madison, she is 3 months old. I feel such a connection to you and your daughter and your story has made such an impact on me. And every time I put a bow in my babies hair I think of you and Maddie.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Maddie was so beautiful. You and your family and your angel are all in my thoughts and prayers. If you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to send me a message. I have been reading your blog gonna try out a couple of your recipes they sound Yummy! Remember God will take care of yall!
Crystal
I am so sorry for your loss! I cant even imagine what you and your family are going through. I've been reading your blog everyday, even though I dont know you I always think about you and pray for you and your family. you and your husband are so strong. I hope things get easier for you guys. Just know that your Maddie is in heaven with God watching over you and your family. I really hope things get better soon.
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?xl=xl_blazer&v=slQa_0ONdWE
Please watch this.
We are going through the same things, just perhaps a day or two apart. That trip to our city annex office the other day was awful. I walked in not wanting to use the "d" word to tell them what certificate I was needing and of course she pulls a birth certificate...you may never know how much your blog means to me, but knowing I'm not the only person at this time (and in texas)that is missing my baby girl gives me a sense of comfort. I turn to your blogs to hope maybe they're will be some comfort, or just read how you are coping.I hope you got your email I sent you too...
Hi my names Danielle, I stayed up until 6:30 yesterday morning reading your blogs trying to figure out what I could say....so my comment will be a little different than everyone elses because I see you as a beautiful loving mommy and daddy and someone who has a lot of fun, funny, and exciting stories to tell us about your adventure as mommy and daddy. So I wanted to ask a couple questions so we can also smile with you and help you remember the wonderful moments with baby maddie and just how much she changed your life and all of ours. What was baby maddies favorite thing to see? Like either your and your hubby makin faces or a certain movie or toy? When my daughter was a baby she use to laugh so hard when I would dance around in front of her....now im lucky no one ever walked in on me lol cause I didnt look like the most normal person but the things we do for our babies. I was also wondering what you and your husband do for fun just you and him? You guys seem to love eachother a lot and that is so hard to get in the crazy world now. I hope you can go out and do all the things that you use to do and smile and laugh again. O my gosh and baby maddie is going to be soooo excited to be a big sister!!! Your new baby, when you decide your ready, will have so many people that love her because her big sissy maddie will make sure of that!! I just thought it would be refreshing to not get a comment that just made you feel like those parents that lost their baby because you are mommy and daddy always and I cant wait to hear all the exciting things you did with baby maddie the last 4mths and so excited to walk with you through your new adventures through life and I know that baby maddie is watching mommy and daddy rootin for you the be the best that you can and what maddie doesnt know is she is the reason you are who you are today and actually the reason we all are looking at life and our loved ones the way we are today!! Thank you maddie and I look forward to hearing about your fun old and new memories. Thanks Danielle c11162008@yahoo.com
I found your blog through another woman's blog who is lifting you up. My heart hurts so bad for you guys. I can't imagine losing a child. That isn't the way it should be. Praying for you all as you heal and find your new normal.
I had a friend who lost her baby girl at 11m to cancer and she never got her birth certificate. When she sent off for it finally (in KS) it was stamped infant death. I hope you can get a unmarked copy, but just thought I would tell you what I know so you aren't taken back by it like she was. Hugs to you.
I found your blog online and this post really affected me. I noticed that you said you dreamt of Maddie all night, and my heart just felt at ease. I lost my father 3 years ago and about a week after his burial, I had a dream about him one night. Soon after, I talked to a priest about it and he told me that often when people dream of their loved ones in Heaven, it simply means that they have crossed over and are trying to tell you they are okay. My heart really aches for you as I could not imagine the pain you are going through. You are being incredibly strong from what you are writing and I hope that one day, you will have the closure that you need. God Bless you and especially Maddie!
my heart aches for you... i couldn't even imagine. i'm so sorry for your loss! you can still get her birth certificate online.. i've ordered mine from the state of california as well my son's and now my daughter's who were both born in ohio. it's a quick turn around! i got them in about 1 week! here's the info...
http://www.vitalchek.com/
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