I'm excited!!!!

I (no WE) did it. With LOTS of help we have made a Team M auction. (This is the link)

Here are the details:
-We are accepting donations today-April12th.
-Any donation is acceptable (yes even boy stuff)
-Please e-mail TeamMdonations@gmail.com with your donations. Include starting bid, Company name, a picture, and if you are willing to pay shipping for this item.
-ALL money raised will be donated to SPRING FOR SIDS in team M's name (in Maddie and Macie's name)
-The auction will be held April 14th (Maddie's 6 month birthday)- April 16th.
I want to say a spacial thank you to Barbara Schooley for putting this auction together!!! I also want to say thank you to everyone for donating precious items!

I also want to say thank you to everyone for donating precious items!

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I want to share another fundraiser with you. My friends Ashley and Carrie are doing a Scentsy fundraiser for the Angelman Syndrome Foundation.

Here is a little bit about Angelman Syndrome:

Angelman Syndrome (AS) is a neuro-genetic disorder that occurs in 1 in 15,000 live births. AS is often misdiagnosed as cerebral palsy or autism. Characteristics of AS include; developmental delay, lack of speech, seizures, and walking and balance disorders. Individuals with Angelman Syndrome will require life-long care.

Here is their fundraiser info:

Austin’s Army (Ashley's son's team) is ready to step up the fundraising! We are hosting an online party with Scentsy Independent Consultant Carrie Ibrahim to offer you some fabulous products while raising money and awareness for the Angelman Syndrome Foundation.

Scentsy is a wickless, smokeless, SAFE alternative to candles. No flame, no smoke, no soot. There are over 80 scents to choose from and a variety of warmers* to suit your décor. We carry room sprays and scents for your car or child’s room, too!

There are several ways you can participate.

1. If you are outside of Houston or would like your purchases shipped directly to you, please visit www.carrieibrahim.scentsy.us and click on the Angelman Foundation Fundraiser- Austin’s Army.

2. There is also a direct link to take you to the Fundraiser’s party page: Angelman Foundation Fundraiser- Austin’s Army. Please share this with all your friends and family!

To learn more about Angelman Syndrome, please visit http://www.angelman.org/. To donate directly to Austin’s Army for the Walk-a-Thon, please visit http://www.angelman.org/austinsarmy1/ .

Together we can make this the best year yet!

Ashley and Carrie

Please go check out their page. If you do not have Scentsy products-GET SOME. They are AWESOME!!!

..And if our God is for us then who could ever stop us??

I have really been loving this song...



Today was a better day. I woke up missing Maddie, but I talked to her and I felt better.

I did so great today. No tears only happy thought about Maddie and my family.

I went to the store after work to get some craft stuff and I saw Easter decorations. I know it's time to get stuff for Maddie...so I prepared myself. I thought, "It's going to be ok. Maddie needs Easter decorations on her grave. She deserves it. I deserve to be able to decorate it for her!" So I slowly walked down the Easter isle. But the worst question I was thinking is... "How do you decorate a grave anyways?". I walked up and down the isle just wishing I didn't have to decorate her grave. Why can't she be here? I want to take picture of her in her Easter outfit. I quickly picked something out and talked my self out of falling apart in the middle of the store. As I turned around to find a register I saw this...



ladybug magnets. I knew I had to get them!!! I tried to hurry through the check out so I could get to my car and let it all out....and that's exactly what I did. I cried and cried and cried. I don't think this will ever be easy. Holiday will ALWAYS be hard! But this one stings. It hurts REALLY BAD!

This weekend we are going to go put Maddie's Easter basket on her grave. I hope she loves it!

How can this be?

Today started off bad and it just got worse.

I woke up, got out of bed (that is a struggle in it's self) then went to put my pants in the dryer...right next to the laundry room is Maddie's room. Not even thinking I started walking towards her room like I did every morning for 4 months then I realized she wasn't going to be in there. I wanted her to be in her room SO BAD! Why can't I wake up from this nightmare? This plain SUCKS!!! I told my self to be strong, I was just tired and not thinking straight. So, I pulled my self together and started getting ready for work.

It was a great morning, afternoon is when it got bad. I was walking down the hallway at school when I big kid asked me , "Are you that teacher who's baby is dead?" EXCUSE ME??? That's what I wanted to say. I mean how do you answer that question? This child knew better he was not one of my students, he was a big kid! I was actually kind of mad. How can you really ask someone.. "Hey are you that lady with the dead baby..." I just didn't know what to even say.

This afternoon after school I got on Facebook and realized someone was posting horrible stuff about me. I was hurt. It stung, because none of it was true. I will not go into what was said but I am appalled that people would write such harsh things. I guess that person has never buried a child before!!

I hope tomorrow is a better day.

Here I am with Maddie. She is just 10 days old. Oh, what I wouldn't do to go back to those days!!!!! Mommy misses you so much today Maddiebug.

Maddie came to visit Daddy

Maddie came to visit Daddy...

Yesterday, I was in the middle of finishing a bow. I sat it on our formal dining room table and went to Catherine's baby shower. James picked it up and sat it down on a picture of him and Maddie that we are waiting to frame. He didn't even look when he sat down my bow.

This morning when I got up I was going to finish the bow I looked down and this is what I saw...
How amazing! It's exactly right on her head. I did not move it at all. Maddie is at it again. She is showing us she is around. She loves us, I can feel it. I know she is here. Look at what bow it is too LADYBUGS!!! I may finish this bow and put this print in a shadow bow just like this.

We always called Maddie, "Maddiebug" before.. Now I know why :)

Maddiebug, Daddy and I love you! Thanks for showing us you are still around.

My MaddieBug

Maddie is always there when I need her the most.

Today I went to my best friend, Catherine's baby shower. I wanted to go. I needed to be there t0 support her..but I also knew it was going to be hard.

I got upset in the beginning when everyone was getting there. I tried so hard not to cry. It was Catherine's day...I needed to be strong. I needed to be a best friend and hold my self together. I held back my tears as long as I could, then I had to cry.

I got up quickly so I didn't make a scene. Catherine, my sweet friend, followed me in gave me a big hug. It's times like these when you really know who your friends are. It was her baby shower and here I am crying and she is giving me a hug. She is so sweet. I went into the restroom to pull my self together and Catherine went back to the party. Soon after Catherine comes back into the bathroom. Her mother-in law who came in from outside had a ladybug on her shirt. Catherine brought it into the bathroom and showed me. Maddie came just when I needed her the most. The funny thing is the ladybug was not a deep red like I have seen them many times. It was pink. It WAS my Maddie. How could you not smile after seeing that. She knew I needed her and there she was...my Maddiebug!

Maddie came to visit me today!

I always tell my students at recess to go find me ladybugs…they remind me of Maddie. They have not been out this week due to the weather changes. My students hunted and hunted but didn’t find any ladybugs all week. Today at recess a lady bug landed on my hand. I walked over to show my co-work my "Maddiebug" and she flew away. We watched Maddiebug fly away high in the sky back to heaven..it was surreal. That was Maddie I just know it. She was just coming to say hi.

Please go read my Stepping Forward blog..

and

Don't forget to donate to Team M!

Stepping Forward

Stepping toward the future…

Thousands of families, across hundreds of countries, from every race, creed, and social status have walked the path that SIDS has laid before them. History shows us that nature will always bring us joys and sorrows; each experience showing us who we truly are—compassionate, joyful, sympathetic, emotional, empathetic, curious, endearing, faithful, hopeful, and loving.

“…faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (I Corinthians 13:13).

As we lovingly move forward toward bringing awareness about SIDS, carrying comfort to those who have been touched by its power, and nurturing hope for future generations we must bear in mind that our actions are what makes the difference in our world.

Gathering together to spread the awareness of SIDS has led to the creation of The SIDS Awareness Halo Bracelet designed by Mama Bracelets. The time for action lies within us all.

Purchasing this extraordinary bracelet will bring to you a constant reminder of the realities and hopes surrounding SIDS. When placed lovingly on your wrist, people may ask about its meaning and the awareness will continue.

The purchase of each SIDS Awareness Halo Bracelet will carry a 20% donation by Mama Bracelets to The American SIDS Institute in support of Team M and Maddie and Macie; but greater than this, the donation acts as a way to spread SIDS awareness.

Consider purchasing a bracelet for yourself, a loved one or a friend. Consider what you know about SIDS. Consider making a difference in our world.

To learn more visit:

· The Mama Bracelets webpage that features the SIDS Awareness HALO Bracelet:

· The Mama Bracelet Blog page to take a SIDS Quiz and be entered to win a $10.00 MB Gift Certificate:

To view this video in full screen, please click here